Scott Offen

Pedantic. Punny. Phoolish.

[Scott Offen @scottoffen]

I am under no obligation to conform to your narrative. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[Scott Offen @scottoffen]

@1BigAl7890 @hankgreen Pop quiz! Is BigAl56872:

[Scott Offen @scottoffen]

@GRRM dies without completing Song of Ice and Fire. @BrandSanderson is tapped to complete the series. In two months he publishes 3 novels each over 1500 pages. After six months there is a sequel trilogy with a new magic system. Welcome to the Cosmere, Jon Snow.

[Scott Offen @scottoffen]

After 30 minutes of trying to make her laugh, I asked my 7 yo niece if she thought my jokes were funny. She looked me dead in the face asked "what jokes?" I'm in the hospital now being treated for 3rd degree burns.

[Scott Offen @scottoffen]

@elonmusk Give me your tired, your poor
Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free
The wretched refuse of your teeming shore
Send these the homeless tempest-tost to me
I lift my lamp beside the golden door!

[Scott Offen @scottoffen]

@elonmusk Nope. Discrimination on the basis of merit is wrong, too.

[Scott Offen @scottoffen]

I remember thinking, wow, he really went in a different direction than Michael and Tito, but good for him, I guess.

[Scott Offen @scottoffen]

You guys have no idea how long I believed that Alan Jackson was one of the Jackson 5.

[Scott Offen @scottoffen]

Whatever holidays you are celebrating this season, may they be happy, merry, and bright. And filled with snacks. Merry Christmas from our family to yours. #MerryChristmas2022

[Scott Offen @scottoffen]

@elonmusk Unsubscribe

[Scott Offen @scottoffen]

@JaredJustice11 @SISTASinZION I see. From the thread, it seems you are implying that those who would prefer to NOT wear the garment 24-7 would be more comfortable in a lesser degree of glory. I must have misunderstood. Can you clarify?

[Scott Offen @scottoffen]

@JaredJustice11 @SISTASinZION https://t.co/NniJkH8id3

[Scott Offen @scottoffen]

I can already hear the Zach Galifianakis (@galifianakisz) version of Clemenza saying "Leave the gun. Take the cannoli." #recastthegodfather

[Scott Offen @scottoffen]

The assignment in the film appreciate class my son is taking this semester is to watch a movie made in 1975 or earlier, then recast it using modern actors. We decided to watch The Godfather (1972). Here are some of our recasts so far. #recastthegodfather

[Scott Offen @scottoffen]

Tony Hale (@MrTonyHale) was born to play Fredo. #recastthegodfather

[Scott Offen @scottoffen]

@LuckyHeronSay Peter Parker

[Scott Offen @scottoffen]

I've spent the last several years desperately wanting an all-female, Latina Morrissey cover band to be a real thing. #girlfriendsinacoma #daybreak
https://t.co/c7z3PhNGRj