Just had a heart attack in my garage.
I’m breaking down cardboard & I turn around and see these fucking eyes staring at me. The yell I let out was embarrassing.
It’s our god damn Buddy The Elf cardboard cutout.
IM ALSO THE ONE WHO PUT IT THERE
Now sadly-deleted, here is one of the best tweets of all time.
Every word perfectly chosen. ‘Praying’ is better than ‘hoping’, ‘frogman’ hits much better than ‘scuba diver’. Gold standard tweeting.