ScratchpadMD

Medical humor and satire. Random thoughts from a trauma surgery dude at a hospital near you. and gifs, lots of gifs.

[ScratchpadMD @scratchpadMD]

If I’m ever admitted for hypothermia, this is the only active external rewarming that I will consent to.

[ScratchpadMD @scratchpadMD]

I'm not the same person who came through orientation.

[ScratchpadMD @scratchpadMD]

Can we all agree that the LLQ is the least favorite quadrant?

[ScratchpadMD @scratchpadMD]

@docmartin22

[ScratchpadMD @scratchpadMD]

Pretty upset that Zillow isn't having any major Black Friday sales on the houses I'm looking at.

[ScratchpadMD @scratchpadMD]

@rbarbosa91 I hate everything about this.

[ScratchpadMD @scratchpadMD]

“Mr. Smith, can you tell me where you are right now?”

Mr. Smith: “Hell.”

[typing progress note]: 𝘗𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘦𝘯𝘵 𝘪𝘴 𝘢𝘭𝘦𝘳𝘵 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘰𝘳𝘪𝘦𝘯𝘵𝘦𝘥.

[ScratchpadMD @scratchpadMD]

When a med student genuinely tells me they’re interested in becoming a surgeon.

[ScratchpadMD @scratchpadMD]

Scratchpad, MD, FACS
Got some more letters.
Soon I will be able to complete the whole alphabet with my email signature. #ACSCC23

[ScratchpadMD @scratchpadMD]

Guess I need to dust off the ol Twitter handle before going to #ACSCC23 next week.

[ScratchpadMD @scratchpadMD]

@originalEJessie Welcome back to the best coast, the gulf coast.

[ScratchpadMD @scratchpadMD]

@docmartin22 @originalEJessie @MicheleGageMD @Kayleigh_HR @MichaelHorseyMD @USUWR_GenSurg @WalterReedGME Yes, come to the other side.

[ScratchpadMD @scratchpadMD]

"I think the patient has an infection."

"What makes you say that?"

The blood smear:

[ScratchpadMD @scratchpadMD]

@jtrebach What about tap water through PICC lines to keep them clean?

[ScratchpadMD @scratchpadMD]

@cherryblack I wouldn’t be too sure about that.

[ScratchpadMD @scratchpadMD]

Mental note: don’t use bovies on the bovine

[ScratchpadMD @scratchpadMD]

@joshmcgoo It’ll always be 2020 to me.

https://t.co/rSatygv8Z3

[ScratchpadMD @scratchpadMD]

How come in medicine we have a good habit of relating everything to food?

Fibrocystic disease of the breast?
Nah, that’s some ciabatta bread.

[ScratchpadMD @scratchpadMD]

Coming back to Twitter after a 6mo break during an epic downtime… and I think I’ll go back to the downtime.

[ScratchpadMD @scratchpadMD]

@thehouseofpod

[ScratchpadMD @scratchpadMD]

@DShadowgazer It’s mine today. Who knew we were the same age?