Tucker Hadgraft

[Tucker Hadgraft @screename5fiv]

Happy Screw England Day

[Tucker Hadgraft @screename5fiv]

@ToysRUs is closing? Never been inside one, apparently I always had toys at home.

[Tucker Hadgraft @screename5fiv]

Is there a better way to end the International Masturbation Month by winning some of the world's top sex toys worth $10,000? No! there isn't. I just signed up. What are you waiting for? #SexToyDay https://t.co/04NEJQpNz1

[Tucker Hadgraft @screename5fiv]

If anyone is having a bad day, here's a link to win 10,000 dollars in sex toys

#SexToyDay https://t.co/04NEJQ8cHt

[Tucker Hadgraft @screename5fiv]

*Writes text message*
*sends text message*
*spellchecks text message*
"Shit"

Anyone one else ?

[Tucker Hadgraft @screename5fiv]

Sometimes I cant tell if I dont have service or just no ones texting me.

[Tucker Hadgraft @screename5fiv]

Stop telling me you're "thinking about getting a sleeve tattoo"

[Tucker Hadgraft @screename5fiv]

If you don't grab my attention in the first second of you snapchat story, odds are I'm not watching the whole thing.

[Tucker Hadgraft @screename5fiv]

I'm doing it !

I'm watching the office for the first time IN ORDER!
And not in random episodes.

If you don't hear from me for a few weeks, don't panic

[Tucker Hadgraft @screename5fiv]

Well the Olympics are half over, time to unfollow all the athletes I pretended to care about for a week.

[Tucker Hadgraft @screename5fiv]

How are there are multiple pencil companies still in business today despite the fact that their erasers do not work?

[Tucker Hadgraft @screename5fiv]

Uber driver: so Tucker....
Me: yeah ?
Uber driver: you smell like alcohol, wild night ?
Me: I spilt rum on my shirt while pregaming by myself.
Uber driver: classic, be safe tonight

[Tucker Hadgraft @screename5fiv]

@oldmanmcnamara @stevieray__ You might as well be watching CNN

[Tucker Hadgraft @screename5fiv]

I wanted to draw dragons for a living when I was a kid. Good thing I found out I'm not a good drawer before I found out no one's going to pay me to draw dragons all day.

I don't think 7 year old Tucker could have handled it.

[Tucker Hadgraft @screename5fiv]

I'm sure you get this all the time but you posting your dog on social media is the only reason I still want to know what you're up to.

[Tucker Hadgraft @screename5fiv]

Downloads Trivia Crack

Uninstalls Trivia Crack

Enrolls in nearest middle school

[Tucker Hadgraft @screename5fiv]

Attention: If you or a loved one has been diagnosed with Mesothelioma you may to be entitled to financial compensation.

[Tucker Hadgraft @screename5fiv]

Does anyone actually write "a" like that in real life?

Where did this bull shit come from?

[Tucker Hadgraft @screename5fiv]

Mariah Carey's All I Want For Christmas on repeat

[Tucker Hadgraft @screename5fiv]

How many times do you think DJ Khaled has said "DJ Khaled" into a mircophone?