elber galarga

I go hard everynight and weight the pros and cons of rehab in the morning

[elber galarga @scrub_swag]

This nigga

[elber galarga @scrub_swag]

Mauricio drove through the city with the shades on

[elber galarga @scrub_swag]

These ratchets drive me crazy but I love them

[elber galarga @scrub_swag]

These hoes on twitter crack my shit up trying to act classy and shit BITCH you take roofies recreationally

[elber galarga @scrub_swag]

I take 45 minute shits thanks to twitter

[elber galarga @scrub_swag]

It's not cheating if u don't remember

[elber galarga @scrub_swag]

Motherfuckers go raw dog every time but got an otter box on the iPhone

[elber galarga @scrub_swag]

i like having a pet cuz i can blame all suspicious sounds on them when im in bed... BANG.. what was that.. dont worry it was just the fish

[elber galarga @scrub_swag]

im like a blind orgy. you dont know who you're fucking with

[elber galarga @scrub_swag]

when i was a kid we didn't have smartphones so we had to read shampoo bottles while taking a shit

[elber galarga @scrub_swag]

last year i asked santa for the sexiest person ever for christmas... i woke up in a box

[elber galarga @scrub_swag]

ME: wow everything seems right for once
LIFE: hold on let me fuck it up

[elber galarga @scrub_swag]

you will never know the true value of a moment until it becomes a memory

[elber galarga @scrub_swag]

nothing brings two people together faster than the hatred of a third person

[elber galarga @scrub_swag]

I'm not an alcoholic.. i just like to do my social drinking with a beerbong

[elber galarga @scrub_swag]

i miss slamming my phone shut when i got off the phone mad.

[elber galarga @scrub_swag]

there is no angry way to say "bubbles"

[elber galarga @scrub_swag]

i havent seen a spider around the house in days... WHAT THE FUCK ARE THEY PLANNING??

[elber galarga @scrub_swag]

my penis is alway like "have sex with her" and im like "no penis, go back to sleep, i just want to cuddle with her"... my penis is a dick

[elber galarga @scrub_swag]

one of my biggest fears is that someone breaks into m house while i'm in the middle of taking a massive shit