secretdonkey

And whatever rhymes with eloquent. Signifying nothing. Tenured dilettante. Get off my lawn.

[secretdonkey @secretdonkey]

@wokkax3 Fuck yeah. Being in the patch of totality in 2017 was almost like seeing god.

[secretdonkey @secretdonkey]

@KJillRobbins @fodorstravel Buc-ee's lost its charm for me the day I saw a billboard encouraging drivers to pass Hruska's (venerable gas/Czech food stop on Hwy 71) and continue on to their store. Dunking on the mom-and-pop competition is not cool.

[secretdonkey @secretdonkey]

@Bixcut You warm my little donkey heart! I thought I'd take a break from Twitter until the shit died down, but the shit never died down! I miss my people here like you!

[Lamictal my Balziva @anoncpht]

Tempting, but I’ll go with the beef.

[secretdonkey @secretdonkey]

@tvldiva Nope!

[secretdonkey @secretdonkey]

Making a splashy return to Twitter by rebooting this account to support my new Kickstarter, aimed at funding development of a submarine to tour the wreckage of the submarine designed to tour the wreckage of the Titanic.

[secretdonkey @secretdonkey]

The original single-use submarine was called Titanic, the second one was Titan, so I'll distill the name to the next logical level and call it "Tite"

[(((Brother Louie & Enzo Baruch 🌈 ))) 🐕🐾 🇺🇦 🌻 @EnzoWestie]

How it started. How it’s going.

Five li’l baby #carolinawrens moved out of the mailbox and into the big wide world last evening. Be happy, little ones. We’ll miss you. #birds #nest #austin #wildlifephotography

Photos: @secretdonkey

[secretdonkey @secretdonkey]

@LePetitOiseau_L Hope you’re feeling de-Fuddified toute de suite - godspeed my friend, godspeed!

[secretdonkey @secretdonkey]

@stefthepef Congrats on the power and the celebrity. You were on brand on the radio today 😎

[secretdonkey @secretdonkey]

@EnzoWestie Indeed!

[secretdonkey @secretdonkey]

Winter storm knocked the power out but thanks to a well-stocked fridge, gas range, three candles, and one flashlight, I am enjoying a decent bowl of fried rice.

[secretdonkey @secretdonkey]

@mysorryheart2 Club soda (maybe with a squeeze of citrus) or a seltzer like LaCroix

[secretdonkey @secretdonkey]

@FancyKetchup_ As long as she’s not under a tree!

[secretdonkey @secretdonkey]

Just dropped by to check in. Why does everyone have their account set to protected? What's up with that?

P.S.: Much love to all my twitter people.

[secretdonkey @secretdonkey]

Money's short, times are hard,
here's your fucking Christmas card.

[secretdonkey @secretdonkey]

@bouffantbecky .@EnzoWestie asked me to make this preparation, and we enjoyed it muchly. Thanks, Chef Becky, you are a hero 😎

[secretdonkey @secretdonkey]

@Ceralion73 Same handle as here :)

[secretdonkey @secretdonkey]

Another Austin-based Twitter account, almost as important and influential as me, speaks out...

[Evil MoPac @EvilMopacATX]

Epilogue:

This account means a lot to me, just like so many of y'all do

But I'm stepping away for now, unwilling to let my creative voice support, even passively via ad $, the horrifying human at the top of this food chain

If things change down the road, I'll be back

❤️EMP

[secretdonkey @secretdonkey]

@Woozle_Taffy @TexasMonthly @EnzoWestie "The more than 260,000 new residents who have moved to the area since 2018 might not understand that they’ll be frolicking in a symbol of Austin’s transition from livable city to tech-bro theme park." 😂