Stanislaw Lemming

Good Neighbor. Kept to Himself. Never Bothered Anybody. Saw Him Take Out a Bunch of Trash Bags Last Night.

[Stanislaw Lemming @LemmingDad]

Sorry I haven’t been tweeting, I was on my fitness journey

[HamNCheddar @HamNCheddar]

This shit pisses me off so fucking much. Every business in this entire set of 10 blocks gets cut off during one of the biggest nights of the year for the city all because one orange dickhead needs to come watch the game. Also what happens to all the commuter traffic coming into and out of Penn station? Thousands of people planning to come in and out on NJ transit and the LIRR, anyone on the ACE or 123 lines do what exactly? Absolutely ROBBING the city of their homecoming game.

[Ij @IJoukov]

@TommyBeer What a stupid waste of time. Will really keep out someone with bad intentions unless they.. spend 5 bucks on an NJT ticket to secaucus?

[JokerMakeupJacobite 🇮🇪👹🐋🐢🌹🇺🇦🇵🇸 @ClwnPrncCharlie]

lol imagine being one of the thousand bars inside this zone having your night of the year shut down

[Hunter Biden @HunterBiden]

Trump hasn’t made a public appearance in 8 days. This after an unscheduled visit to the hospital- because he “likes getting check ups.” Thank God Jake Tapper (or as I like to call him- the Brick Tamland of his generation) is on the case hunting down clues in a book about my mom’s experience as First Lady four years ago.

[Rep. Jack Kimble @RepJackKimble]

Just a friendly warning. We don’t even make $200k per year in Congress despite working nearly 140 days. If we aren’t properly compensated, a lot of us will go to the private sector and you will be left with some real idiots in Congress.

[Veterans For Responsible Leadership @VetsForRL]

Serve in Vietnam when drafted

[Kivvy Cat! @KivvyCat]

Not only is Elon Musk a pedophile, he is also the least popular pedophile

[Stanislaw Lemming @LemmingDad]

I’m drinking coffee while on the toilet. Or, as I like to call it, “farm to table”

[krista @kristabellerina]

If anyone needs a life coach, my 6yo niece just reminded me that “the best part of the party is the eating.”

[RunwayDan @RunwayDan]

What brain am I if I see late-era Phil Spector?

[Bö Jänke: Hönkÿ @Bob_Janke]

Oh, you miss smoking in bars? I remember when you could smoke in hospitals

[your other mom @difficultpatty]

I hope you all have a good poop this Christmas.

[Stanislaw Lemming @LemmingDad]

Yulescrolling > doomscrolling

[Stu, For Real @StuForReal]

Give the gift of unsolicited advice

[Willie @Willie600640663]

Getting road rage alone in my house

[krista @kristabellerina]

Away in a Manger is my favorite song about sleeping.

[Stanislaw Lemming @LemmingDad]

I gave up coffee over a year ago. So far, I feel like fuck this shit

[hb @h3xenbrenner2]

(First day of prison trying to decide which gang to join) which of you guys like Pavement the most?