seefsays

[我不喜欢万税爷✈🚇🏳️‍🌈 @HikoukiHikouki9]

What happens if you get fat in this kind of friend group do they kill you

[duck @ExtremeBlitz__]

is it normal to have inside jokes with yourself that you laugh at subconsciously or is that schizophrenia

[Trophy Husband 🏆 @Brian_onX]

Marriage is wild...

One person needs complete darkness, total silence, the room set to exactly 72°, and a pillow designed by NASA.

The other person could fall asleep before their head even hits the pillow at a monster truck show.

And somehow, they always marry each other.

[Softboy @softboywin]

A will? I don't even have a way

[Jdab @JDabz87]

“Knicks in five” is New York for “peace be with you”

[Michael Mathes @MichaelMathes]

“England historically has struggled here in Massachusetts”
— #WorldCup announcer on Fox
👀

[Donhammed Trumpistan @TheRealDon85]

Shout out to Charlie Kirk for finally not saying anything racist on Juneteenth. What a turning point

[bigkhing @bigkhing001]

So weird when a parent of a gay child is homophobic. U made a gay person. Ur literally the gay source. Ur the carrier of gay. Ur the gay factory

[MP Arizona☀️🏳️‍🌈💙🌵🐕🐕‍🦺🫂💦🏜🐟🌴🎙🌎🌻♍️🌊 @AzPetrich]

Going forward, we can't have Obama AND Mamdani giving speeches in the same week or we'll start to get spoiled by literacy.

[Softboy @softboywin]

Y’all don’t use paper plates? Shiiiiit, I’d use a paper pot if I could....FUCK THEM DISHES 😂

[MrBlack™ @KE_MrBlack]

Gynaecologists giving you privacy to undress is the most pointless professional courtesy😂

[Wholesome Side of 𝕏 @itsme_urstruly]

I wonder if any medieval peasants stayed awake at night replaying awkward conversations

Just lying there in the dark thinking, “I was weird at the well”

[Lisa @lisathebeauty1]

next rage bait idea: like your own texts during an argument

[Jenni @hashjenni]

It seems like Mamdani doesn’t even have an office he just works the streets like a smiling genie granting common wishes

[Cooper Lawrence @CooperLawrence]

Friend (at a bar watching the World Cup): are you two guys from England?

Guys: Wales

Friend: are you two whales from England?

[Dirty @danielcronauer]

Human body is wild. Ate bread my whole life. Never had a single issue.
Wake up one day as a 38 year old and the doctor says “You have celiacs disease. You can’t eat gluten .”

“So all of a sudden I’m gay now?”

🤦‍♂️

[GL @gldivittorio]

She saw that soccer team and got moving

[Bones @FrailSkeleton]

If a toddler offers u an unwrapped piece of candy from his sticky hand, that’s a sign of great respect in their culture

[No, Not that Carlo 💎⛓️ @3kCarlo]

I’m finna ask the Jews if I can cut thru their tunnels

[mahrukh @parhloumahrukh]

How tf are all the book authors "New York Times No.1 Bestseller" ?????