Jennifer Johnson

You never need to use the word utilize

[Jennifer Johnson @seejenwrite]

Stop being so predictable and I won't be so cynical.

[Mandy Patinkin @PatinkinMandy]

Stay in line! So long as you are in line at before the polls close it is your right to vote.

[Clem @TheClemReport]

If you get an I Voted sticker for voting early, you should be able to scan it on your TV and all political ads should be replaced by normal commercials

[Patrick Chovanec @prchovanec]

I want a US President who I can entirely forget about for days at a time.

[Jennifer Johnson @seejenwrite]

Make it a great week.

[Out of Context Human Race @NoContextHumans]

These grandkids planned to surprise their grandma at the airport dressing as t-rex but she heard about it and planned her own surprise.

[Jennifer Johnson @seejenwrite]

I want an Advent calendar where someone deep cleans a different section of my house each day.

[Jennifer Johnson @seejenwrite]

Make it a great week.

[𝗣𝗲𝗿𝗿𝗶 @perrigame]

Instead of nightclubs I want a 24hr library with hot chocolate stations, a dessert bar, coffee machine, big comfy chairs and beanbags, blankets, dogs welcome, just people who want to spend the evening reading alone, together, peaceful, a cosy fire, plants, an indoor waterfall.

[National Park Service @NatlParkService]

This is the ideal marmot body. You may not like it, but this is what peak performance looks like.

[Jennifer Johnson @seejenwrite]

Call me basic but you try eating pizzeria Combos and binge watching "English Teacher" and tell me you're not happy.

[Jennifer Johnson @seejenwrite]

It’s difficult to maintain good posture while sitting in the conference room chairs when your feet don’t touch the floor.

[Jennifer Johnson @seejenwrite]

If you’re not sure the right thing to do, ask yourself what would be most difficult. Unfortunately, that’s usually your answer.

[Jennifer Johnson @seejenwrite]

It, a great week, make.

[NASA @NASA]

Astronaut Matthew Dominick captured this video of #HurricaneMilton from @SpaceX's Dragon Endeavour spacecraft, docked to the @Space_Station, as it passed over the Gulf of Mexico on the morning of Wednesday, Oct. 9: https://t.co/GSFBS2wdwn

[Jennifer Johnson @seejenwrite]

Give this person a book contract. 😂

[Sassington, M.C. @MissSassbox]

livetweeting through the experience that is my mom getting an outpatient procedure done but she had to take Valium first for her anxiety:

some quick facts:

- 60+ year old Southern belle with a bright personality and bad knees. despite that, we're actually here for her back today. she's like a retired nursing Avenger with expensive copays.

also important, she's a Virgo.

- actual height: 5'3.5"
- height she tells medical professionals: 5'7"
- vices: peanut butter pretzels and Aleve
- hobbies: spontaneous naps, asking for tech assistance, reminding me she loves her grandchild more than the person who grew him for her
- pain tolerance: LOW. she screams like Omar from the Wire shot her and we're just putting on a lidocaine patch.
- medicinal tolerance: non-existent. cough syrup makes her salsa.
- strengths: giving constructive criticism, seeing impossibly small objects on her rug but not text messages, being loud on calls with ancestors, cooking anything BUT frozen food, and talking on speakerphone at full volume with no regret.

here is our story:

[Jennifer Johnson @seejenwrite]

Make it a great week.

[Jennifer Johnson @seejenwrite]

The 80s playlist at Walmart on Saturday night completely slaps.

Look, we all go clubbing in our own way.

[Jennifer Johnson @seejenwrite]

We are not talking about the absolutely uncalled for amount of saxophone in 80s music.