Seif Alaasy

[Adam @adamgreattweet]

if someone tells you they don’t have a favorite bathroom at work, they’re lying

[Mommy Needs a Life @momneedsalife3]

The most unbelievable thing in movies is when someone guesses the password of a computer that’s not theirs. I can’t even figure out my own password. That I changed yesterday.

[Lindsay Crouse @lindsaycrouse]

“Imagine if Tom Brady were being held by Russian officials right now.” https://t.co/peFT0ZAXVk

[Ron Filipkowski @RonFilipkowski]

Ukraine First Lady Olena Zelenska releases statement: “Our women and children now live in bomb shelters and basements .. because of indiscriminate and deliberate bombing and shelling of civilian infrastructure.”https://t.co/0XLfkxERWM

[3 Wild Rainbows @wildrainbow2]

Welcome to parenthood, your slow descent into madness starts now.

[Mediocre Mom @MediocreMamaa]

In case you’re thinking about becoming a parent, my kid is currently crying because I wouldn’t serve him “those clouds outside” for breakfast.

[Seif Alaasy @seifAlaasy]

@abdallaabrhem Haha Hahahaha Hahahaha

[No Lie with Brian Tyler Cohen @NoLieWithBTC]

NEW: President Zelenskyy just praised President Biden for his handling of the crisis in Ukraine and banning of Russian oil: “I am grateful personally to President of the USA Biden… for this leadership.”

[cory snearowski @corysnearowski]

If you’re concerned about rising gas prices, have no fear: The escalator at the mall has been transporting me nicely up and down stairs for the past 7 hours. Completely free. It has its limitations as far as travel, but it works. Four other guys and I are doing this

[Nick Nemeroff @nicknemeroff]

Telling my dentist to calm down, there are more important things going on in the world than my teeth

[John Hinckley @JohnHinckley20]

I’ll be releasing a new song of mine soon.

[Joe Rumrill @2tonbug]

Screw it, I’m making my OWN gasoline…

[Seif Alaasy @seifAlaasy]

@abdallaabrhem When you look at this PSG team there are all average players apart from the front line attackers the rest are a just average

[Seif Alaasy @seifAlaasy]

@abdallaabrhem It's really got nothing to do with the result this psg team just looks uncoached Irrespective of his work at spurs the risk factor is clearly way higher than it is for ten hag and the ceiling lower

[Seif Alaasy @seifAlaasy]

@abdallaabrhem الحمد لله

[Soren Bowie @Soren_Ltd]

I made my wife a workout mix and she said, “But I’ve heard all these songs already” because apparently she thinks I’m hoarding good music and slowly rationing it to her. Which I am. But we still have a lot of years together so she’ll get crap for now.

[KELLY COHEN @ByKellyCohen]

guys, so, i recently went on a second date and i brought him to my close friends’ restaurant. he tipped 5%.