Serena Watson

Wanderer. Pitbull lover. Earth muffin. Native Oregonian. Gardener. Spoopy bitch, but not the really scary type. Only accidentally cut off my Mom’s thumb once...

[𝐆𝐫𝐞𝐠 @CasuallyGreg]

This is a tree that got hit by lightning.

[jake @jakecurrie]

I'm calling on joe biden to release 5 million santas from the strategic santa reserve

[Dolly Parton @DollyParton]

Gotta keep your hair, heels, and standards high!

[Zack Bornstein @ZackBornstein]

Covid has more rights in Texas than women

[Kristen Schaal @kristenschaaled]

So if a woman gets an abortion in Texas after 6 weeks, the law says that she and the provider can be sued by absolutely anyone. But isn't her medical business her own? HIPAA? So wouldn't it be illegal for them to know and then sue?

[The Counter @TheCounter]

#THREAD: Why isn’t the workforce returning to the restaurant industry? We asked a bunch of former and current workers in North Carolina for their thoughts. https://t.co/Vh2RiteGCy

[Thoughts of Dog @dog_feelings]

i have misplaced my name tag. it must have fallen off during my walk earlier. i am now completely unidentifiable. i can be whoever i want. i am mysterious

[fredesque @FredTaming]

idk who needs to hear this but get vaccinated you absolute fucking clown

[Paula Poundstone @paulapoundstone]

I just want to say that I am a part of Hollywood, and I never endorsed the multi-million dollar orgasm cult.

[Serena Watson @serenalwatson]

Joe just woke up at 12:57am to find this raw potato snack next to the bed. I had already prepared for his response. He glared at it & shook his head. Before he could speak, I popped off “Hey, leave me alone. It’s my midnight potato. It’s not hurting anything, ok?!”

[Bess Kalb @bessbell]

I’m not going to tell anyone when I’m vaccinated in case I need an excuse not to hang out.

[Serena Watson @serenalwatson]

@dog_rates Bigger headdos = more room for kisses

[Paula Poundstone @paulapoundstone]

I accidentally sought guidance from a life couch.

[Paula Poundstone @paulapoundstone]

I guess the CDC just said that fully vaccinated people can gather indorrs without masks. Great, but how do you tell the vaccinated from the selfish idiots?

[ᴘᴀᴠʟᴏᴠ ᴛʜᴇ ᴄᴏʀɢɪ @PAVGOD]

Normalize kissing your dog goodnight on the forehead

[PS @POPSUGAR]

.@TheWiggles' mashup of "Fruit Salad" and a @tameimpala song is, unexpectedly, the banger of 2021. 🎶 https://t.co/IAFECaoF7a

[Serena Watson @serenalwatson]

@OPB What exactly would be an acceptable reason to display a noose? Is there going to be a noose display approval committee?!

[Serena Watson @serenalwatson]

The day after my boyfriend’s 38th birthday, Friday 3/13, my primary workplace & 2 part time employers closed. His workplace also closed. Both of us trying to navigate an overwhelmed unemployment system for the 1st time & unsuccessfully trying to avoid losing our home💔 #TheMoment

[Dewayne Perkins @DewaynePerkins]

So March we meet again you raggedy bitch.