bramakram

i am dying with laughter

[bramakram @sethro_glull]

surprised ppl haven't made more a.i. pics of babies harpooning each other and engaging in trench warfare. show these computers what we're made of.

[bramakram @sethro_glull]

people really just changed POV from "point of view" to "a video of" -
and "hot take" from "opinion on a current matter given the admittedly limited information presently available" to "I'm about to make someone mad because of my opinions on what the fuck ever"

[bramakram @sethro_glull]

what's the endgame? rent doubles every ten years and we all slowly downgrade our standard of living until... camping? no, camping fees are more than rent and it's illegal to be homeless, I think maybe we get some kind of "cute" microhouse in slidell and then uber to linecook job.

[bramakram @sethro_glull]

the rent at my first place in New Orleans 6 years ago was $1250/mo, same place is now $1800. nothing has improved, the house is worse, the neighborhood is worse, nothing at all is better at all, and standard wages have definitely NOT gone up 40% so...

[bramakram @sethro_glull]

dry food for perverts 🤷‍♂️

[bramakram @sethro_glull]

lately I'm working in the adjacent room while my gf watches this show Euphoria and it's the most disturbing garbage heap of pseudointellectual half-baked symbolic bullshit pedo kibble I've ever seen in my life.

[bramakram @sethro_glull]

i like things like competitive dancing and painting contests where it's like non-market commodified art.
not "like" like, but, like, like to think about. like.

[bramakram @sethro_glull]

you'd be surprised how easy it is to slip a factoid about the price of whale cheese into a conversation

[bramakram @sethro_glull]

coldest take ever but Jack White punched that Von Bondies guy so that he could have a smirky mug shot as part of his rock n roll legacy and be on those stupid "famous mug shots" posters for years.
that guy looks like he had worms, I can't imagine actually wanting to hurt him lol

[bramakram @sethro_glull]

@zacharymhansa tbf I hitched a ride to Disney World twice in the 90s with my rich cousins and it was literally magical the first time when I was 5 and still super badass as a tween. Space Mountain, the Alien theater thing, all of Epcot just mind blowing to a farmboy 🌈

[bramakram @sethro_glull]

@zacharymhansa "guess I'll watch the Disney World promo tape again"
- working class 90s kids with that stupid tape that was always around for some reason

[bramakram @sethro_glull]

like I'm not some kinda nervous socially frightened person- I'm outgoing and make friends with strangers everywhere- but my god @GNCLiveWell stores are just so freaking intense with the sales pitches that I have to get myself mentally prepared to walk in the doors lolsheesh

[bramakram @sethro_glull]

this should help get my tv and doom scrolling time back down lol

[bramakram @sethro_glull]

I can't be happy today about AD and the butthole Lakers getting swept because instead everyone is talking about stupid fucking stupid lebron/bronny fucking father-son team in two years fuck me fuck the lakers fuck that circus fuck the NBA's plot writers GO PELS SQUAAAAA!!! grrrrr

[bramakram @sethro_glull]

flavor ranking
1. cane molasses
2. peanut butter
3. Nesquik powder

flavor when added to apple sauce ranking
1. peanut butter
...
2. Nesquik powder
3. cane molasses

[bramakram @sethro_glull]

"LET'S GET THIS NEURODIVERGENT WHITE BOY GOUDA!" I pep myself up- taking one last good fingernail chew before I dump eleven ounces of Coppertone Sport SPF 50 into my left palm and prepare my skin for another day of mowing lawns at fifty bucks a piece, cash only.

[bramakram @sethro_glull]

sports illustrated ink and paper magazine still exists and has, for prize to purchasers, geriatric convicted felon martha stewart wearing a swimsuit - what an exciting time for those of us who really *really* enjoy hating reality 👏

[bramakram @sethro_glull]

really glad to see Taylor swift's deep lore shifting from "queen of the nazis" to "probably bisexual, leaning towards women"

[bramakram @sethro_glull]

HEY DUFF NUTS THIS IS AMERICA THEY SHOULDA TOOK THE "UGH" OUT AT ELLIS ISLE, NAHMSAYIN?!?!

-donut xenophobe

[bramakram @sethro_glull]

new pet peeve:

"I play in a doom band called Band Name."
"Oh wow that sounds fucking sick!"

really?! is that fucking sweet? just knowing that a doom band exists?

why do people just say shit just to talk? woooooow awesome!!!

woooow so words mean nothing to you? good to know.