Ryan Perry

Hi My name is Sexy Ryan Perry, I'm a Junior and I created the fucking troupe!

[Ryan Perry @sexyryanperry]

@davidDOWNPOUR I got them! Did you get them?

[Ryan Perry @sexyryanperry]

Hey Twitter. It’s been a while. I’m just here to say that after listening to myself on a podcast, I realized that I am unable to say the word “Flights”. I only refer to them as “Plans Rides”.

[Ryan Perry @sexyryanperry]

@kennedytcooper Capitalism. My guess is that he sells flags.

[Ryan Perry @sexyryanperry]

You willingly asked an improv comedian to talk dirty to you. Whose fault do you think this is? #ComingBackToTwitterStrong #Improv #Comedy #ATimeAndPlace

[Ryan Perry @sexyryanperry]

Me: “How big do you think Clifford’s dick is?”

Ben: “The big red dog?”

Sam: “At least three Elizabeths.”

#ShitSamSays #Clifford #UnconventionalUnitsOfMeasurements #UnconventionalUnits #RuinnedChildhood

[Ryan Perry @sexyryanperry]

@davidDOWNPOUR It only gets better from there. It’s my favorite evolution of a sitcom I’ve ever seen. Make sure you add the documentary to your list after you finish season 6.

[Ryan Perry @sexyryanperry]

@Markb515 She hates Christmas. I’m just waiting for the children’s book: How The Grinch Got Covid.

[mark @Markb515]

Shoutout to the celebrities who needed 3-5 business days to ~learn~ and ~take in information~ before they made some half-hearted statement instead of just saying black lives matter like anyone with common sense

[Ryan Perry @sexyryanperry]

@Markb515 @maggie_austin_ @kyra_lynn_burke @sydneyrosehover @imtimmk @AlexWaitinas Who’s this @sydneyrosehover? Should I be worried?

[Ryan Perry @sexyryanperry]

@Markb515 We are now tweeter friend.

[Plant Tablewater @ChrisMasih]

on this day 2064 years ago, julius caesar— a man made famous by his flagrant narcissism and alarmingly irresponsible actions as a leader—was stabbed to death by his own senate for those exact reasons! what an interesting fact!

[Ryan Perry @sexyryanperry]

Kira: I had one of those actor nightmares where everyone had these little books that gave them information about the play we were doing, but I didn’t have one.

Me: Like a script.

Kira: ...Yeah. But,-

Me: No. That’s a script.

#ActorsNightmares #ScaredScriptless #RenFaireFears

[Ryan Perry @sexyryanperry]

@ShelbyKatis Yes. Update: I’m still in the bathroom because I think I just lack the energy to move anywhere else.

[Ryan Perry @sexyryanperry]

Will mindless watch 85 minutes of YouTube videos on the toilet, but think starting a movie on Netflix is a bit of a commitment. #ADayInTheLife #NewPotentialTinderBio

[Ryan Perry @sexyryanperry]

When you WebMD a disease and the only symptom that you don’t have is “unintended weight loss”. #LifeIsntFair #AtLeastGiveMeTheGoodSymptomsToo

[Ryan Perry @sexyryanperry]

It’s 3am on Sunday. Last time I was sleeping was 5am on Friday. It’s been almost 48hrs since I’ve slept and I’m not even tired. I think I’m one of those weird breeds of people who don’t need sleep. #Insomniac #SleepIeNotAPriority #IJustLikeBeingAwake

[Ryan Perry @sexyryanperry]

*Playing Heads Up*
Me: “He’s the most interesting man in the world.”
Mom: “Don Quixote!!”
#HeadsUp #ShitMyMomSays

[Ryan Perry @sexyryanperry]

@delaneybarry7 This tweet really brings out your Scorpio lol

[Ryan Perry @sexyryanperry]

I walked into the apple store and told the worker: “I was using my laptop in the shower this morning and now suddenly it won’t turn on.”

Without skipping a beat, he said: “You’re beyond help.”

#ObviouslyIDidntTakeItInTheShower #NoFaith #DrTechSupport #IHopeThisIsntExpensive