spanky

I'm a 0 trick pony she/her

[Meredith @mlscroggin]

oh my god??

[a🌟 @parisandior]

if we’re not like this i don’t want it

[a🌟 @parisandior]

energy I think vs energy I am
I’m radiating radiating

[petfinder names @petfindernames]

part 2

[juni @wtfffjuni]

why do sexy people (me) have to suffer so much

[sloane (sîpihkopiyesîs) 🇵🇸🇨🇩🇸🇩 @cottoncandaddy]

st paul’s in saskatoon

[prance @bocxtop]

y'all this job is asking me to perform tasks i said i was qualified to do on my resume i can't breathe

[Forest @yoursforest]

im anti minimalism im whatever guillermo del toro had going on in his house

[ya girl dot @fencheeks]

5 years ago, I quit my job at Applebee's to do comedy. Today, I just started working at that same exact Applebee's. Shit didn't really work out for me

[Northern Sparrow @NorthernSprw]

Remembering that time in grad school when my advisor, a great ornithologist, got a random call:

drunk guy, bar noises in background: IS THIS THE BIRD PROFESSOR?

my advisor: um..yes?

drunk guy: DO HUMMINGBIRDS HAVE FEET?

my advisor: ...yes

*wild cheering over phone from bar*

[Kyle Musfeldt @KyleMusfeldt]

Most of you know I tragically lost my wife 2.5 yrs ago. Tonight I walked in my house to find my now fiancé & my 3 yr old daughter making cupcakes & having a karaoke party celebrating Kylie’s heavenly birthday tomorrow. I found a damn good one I tell ya. Grown men do cry trust me

[Ashley Strongarm @AshleyStrongarm]

Suspected serial killer Ted Bundy politely offers ride before killing woman

[Marisa 🤍 @Maricalamariii]

People made fun of me for putting breastmilk in soap I made for my son. Some comments were way worse. Here we are a year later, my son has clear skin, I’ve had almost 800 orders, and I’ve helped clear so many people’s skin.

[YT: dappaibim @DappaIbim]

I’m screaming😭

[keegan @FranziaMom]

i have a sticker on my car expressly warning cops that i have a passenger with autism so that they don’t kill him if i get pulled over

[Kipo's Heterogeneous Family Tree @2nylaija16]

Professor on Zoom: Can everybody see me well?
The professor:

[KyKing💕 @TheyLoveKyy_]

I LOVEEE Her Videos With Her Kids😂 She Seems Like Such A Great Teacher