Sheridan Hankey

Would like to know where you got the notion to rock the boat

[Sheridan Hankey @shezzyislame]

Scott was running around with a blanket cape lookin like a dementor and my white dog was chasing him so I pretended she was my patronus and this is why people don’t make plans with me

[Sheridan Hankey @shezzyislame]

Imagine using mothers who have tragically lost their children to fight for the “right” to abortion. I hope no one ever goes through what I went through but if you do, I hope that those around you have more compassion. #miscarriage #ectopic #ProLife

[Sheridan Hankey @shezzyislame]

This is nice 🙃

[Christopher Bedford @CBedfordDC]

In case you want a glimpse at the demonic mindset on display at the Supreme Court today.

[Sheridan Hankey @shezzyislame]

Do you think @PaulHaysom stays up nights wondering if married couples bring him up in daily conversations because he’d be right

[Sheridan Hankey @shezzyislame]

I had my eyes closed on the couch this morning and my toddler asked what I was doing so I told him I was tired. He yelled, “already?!”

Yes, tiny demon, already.

[Sheridan Hankey @shezzyislame]

Stop blaming your zodiac sign for your shitty behaviour. It’s 2021. Blame your enneagram type.

[Sheridan Hankey @shezzyislame]

Who decided dessert forks should be smaller than dinner forks? Because really, pie is the last thing you should be trying to slow me down on

[Sheridan Hankey @shezzyislame]

Just realized WFH means Work From Home and not What Fresh Hell but I like mine better

[Sheridan Hankey @shezzyislame]

@sar_doug No one ever wanted to marry me in grade 11 I was shook

[Sheridan Hankey @shezzyislame]

Peyton from One Tree Hill was such a life ruiner in high school I thought if I acted dark and emo a boy would want to rescue me like Lucas Scott did but really they all just thought I was psychotic

[Sheridan Hankey @shezzyislame]

*sets marketplace radius to within 40 km*
“Oh this looks nice I think I want it!”
Location: Surrey

[Sheridan Hankey @shezzyislame]

Show me your best recipe for avocado pudding and I’ll show you the fastest way to get away from me

[Sheridan Hankey @shezzyislame]

All dogs go to heaven and all snack crumbs end up in my bra

[Sheridan Hankey @shezzyislame]

Scott: Every Bernie meme I see on Instagram says ‘liked by shezzyhanks’

Me:

[Sheridan Hankey @shezzyislame]

@CTVNewsVI Any time I would go to Sidney Telus would do this to me as well

[Sheridan Hankey @shezzyislame]

Oh good I was super hoping my new neighbour with the douchey loud low rider car was unemployed and started it up without going anywhere 10 times a day

[Sheridan Hankey @shezzyislame]

@CTVNewsVI @hollyydouglas UM WUT 😐

[Sheridan Hankey @shezzyislame]

When your sons dance instructor calls to give you the Covid restrictions, among which include making sure your toddler stays in their “designated square”

[Sheridan Hankey @shezzyislame]

I hooked up my Amazon fire stick ON MY OWN and if I could just get the lids off spaghetti sauce I could finally murder Scott

[Sheridan Hankey @shezzyislame]

Something about selling things on marketplace gives me such a rush like yeah maybe I could be a business mogul

[Sheridan Hankey @shezzyislame]

I find it really weird when people congratulate our parents on OUR pregnancy. Like...do you think they were a part of this? They were Regina George’s mom cheering us on and offering us snacks? Stop it.