🐀

[Brí @walnutsbrisa]

ayer salí con un tipo y jugamos ajedrez durante tres horas seguidas

[Mike “the hammer” Blunts @BluntsMike]

Doomscrolling on Twitter instead of reels is the modern day equivalent to reading

[🐀 @shinglejingle]

i only have sex to gather material for my novel

[mike drinks beer @mikehunnidproof]

don’t spit in my ass and tell me it’s raining

[#1 Pet Sounds Fan @BeachBoysFan59]

If you're depressed enough Wouldn't It Be Nice is the saddest song of all time

[terbik @slopbik]

everyone's suicidal until they ride passenger in my car and then suddenly they care about their mortality

[The worm @wormbuttsex]

When you feel so ugly at work it starts affecting your performance

[mabel @weery_]

This is the dumbest thing I've ever read bro Utah is literally a paradise that has been molested by gated communities and Walmarts

[miao @Grendpateddo]

Chillll

[زكريا 🇸🇩 @Afroletariat]

This bar wants to fail so badly

[victoria ♀️ @fatfabfeminist]

how you let a man touch you with the same hands that hurt another woman I can never understand

[collin @fiendformojitos]

If a comparison to another actor needs to be made he’s much closer early Nicolas Cage more than any other actor

[percy @watfle]

Flirting with me is like trying to fuck the shadows in platos cave

[oz @Sshowghoul]

Hi I'm Chris handsome, you see how I look right?

[Louise Jensen Duffy (also Ernest Jensen) @LouiseWeebe]

You’re listening to Sisyphus FM, the home of non-stop rock.

[𝓷𝓲𝓯𝓮𝓶𝓲 ☆ @wtfisnfy]

not to suck my own clit or anything, but i think i'm funny.

[x @nyanchalant23]

im 4’8, have a micro penis, and im ugly and gay, what should i be for halloween?

[🐀 @shinglejingle]

@h311001 oh...

[🐀 @shinglejingle]

why is somebody eating soup with their fingers at the improv show next to me...