Shit Mike Says

Your Daily Mike Sayings

[Shit Mike Says @shitmikesays01]

"So do you usually play 1v1 chel and then jerk off into each other's faces?"

Nah we don't play 1v1 chel

[Shit Mike Says @shitmikesays01]

I'm not saying your opinion is wrong it's just poor judgement

[Shit Mike Says @shitmikesays01]

Post Malone has had way more mainstream success than Kelly Clarkson

[Shit Mike Says @shitmikesays01]

Congratulations is one of the best songs of our generation

[Shit Mike Says @shitmikesays01]

This is straight up asking about him maybe.

[Shit Mike Says @shitmikesays01]

Who's the old man across the street???

"Mr. Rodgers"

Like the rabbit?????

[Shit Mike Says @shitmikesays01]

I can share it on google prezi if you want

[Shit Mike Says @shitmikesays01]

I hate it when I ask people to hangout they respond with "where?" And "when?"

[Shit Mike Says @shitmikesays01]

We were playing football and then you took a relax

[Shit Mike Says @shitmikesays01]

"Mike why are you eating coleslaw with your hands!?!"

Ummm, I thought you eat it with your hands...

[Shit Mike Says @shitmikesays01]

Romania!!!

"What about it Mike?"

Well it's the capital of Italy...

[Shit Mike Says @shitmikesays01]

"Mike watch out there is a car coming!!"

Oh thanks homie, I usually just assume that there are no cars and I'm all set to go.

[Shit Mike Says @shitmikesays01]

*walks up to checkout counter with a huge sign that says checkout above it*

Hey yeah, can I check out here????

[Shit Mike Says @shitmikesays01]

*trying to give himself a paper cut*
"What the hell are you doing????"

Ahh, I'm bored

[Shit Mike Says @shitmikesays01]

Italians ruined this country with their mob gangs

[Shit Mike Says @shitmikesays01]

Can I go potty first

[Shit Mike Says @shitmikesays01]

Are green cards green??? I wouldn't know because I've never been out of the country

[Shit Mike Says @shitmikesays01]

Did you buy any birthdays for your sister?

[Shit Mike Says @shitmikesays01]

Do we put the whole cardboard box in the oven?

[Shit Mike Says @shitmikesays01]

I don't really wear jackets, I don't like the rubber