lys✨🌙

no one knows what it means... but it’s provocative she/her

[maya 🦭 @mayaisfiya]

today i went out to lunch with my dad and his friends and before ordering they walked around looking at what everyone else in the restaurant was eating so they could make an informed decision

[ирис @saltwatermp3]

There is someone sleeping under me on the other side of the earth They are tossing and turning and I find it very disruptive like a pea under many mattresses

[lewis @Lewiswbt1]

I'm going for the world record for memorising the fewest digits of pi. I've forgotten all the decimal places and I'm working on forgetting the 3

[wally b kleeposting @kleeposting]

Why would I want my brain to be more red

[Samantha Ruddy @samlymatters]

Going outside and asking my neighbor who’s already started shoveling if he has ever heard of Sisyphus

[boe @bigsquishyfrog]

I clicked "not interested" on 50 tweets today and it's usable again. You can fix your future

[avantgirl @abstrakti0ns]

Shampooing and conditioning the tiny hairs on the backs of my hands

[Errai @errai]

Panopticon prisoner doing acrobatics in his cell hoping the warden is watching

[𝖦𝗋𝗂𝗆𝖾𝗌 ⏳ @Grimezsz]

Honestly we must not forget this Addison Rae album - apparently the only modern music to rival my love of the oldies

[sam🎮 @sam_niac]

taking screenshots of the screenshots buried in my photo library to “bring them to the front”. It’s not a great system, I admit.

[charlie @chunkbardey]

time to choose a halloween costume! first things first: what is my relationship to my gender sexuality and body

[lex @lexlisbon]

i lowkey don't mind talking about the weather like Yeah it has been awfully humid lately hasn't it

[mr. booty ham sandwich @r0ttensilver]

thought I planted a tulip but turns out it was an onion

[charlie @chunkbardey]

it’s important to call your friends on the phone so you can clean your house

[damn ass rock @nmjcu]

onion rings? I’m answering

[Ganymede 🧜 @ivymede]

the brand name Oral B is so funny to me. wtf does the B stand for

[ppigg @s4m31p4n]

Just collabed on a baby with my wife