The Shitter

[The Shitter @shttr]

“Leave me Satan!” #commonpoopshouts

[The Shitter @shttr]

Poop Classic (tm)

[The Shitter @shttr]

You don’t need to be in the Admiral’s Club to take a huge shit at the airport. Don’t let any admirals legislate your butt.

[The Shitter @shttr]

I put the anal in banal.

[The Shitter @shttr]

Dreading the day that, despite eating healthy, my body still doesn’t poop right. Bodies are weak ass machines built to break y’all. Fuck.

[The Shitter @shttr]

Chili poops inside when it’s chilly outside.

[The Shitter @shttr]

More like GO-Poop. Am I right?

[The Shitter @shttr]

Brewing a stinker and having a thinker.

[The Shitter @shttr]

Sliding on sweatpants after dumping a big load of downtown brown missiles. Nothing better.

[The Shitter @shttr]

Been thinking a lot lately about if I’d like to shit myself when I die. I guess I won’t know so might as well rip one out for all the haters

[The Shitter @shttr]

Want to really up your bathroom game? Get some fucking wet wipes. Seriously. A fresh ass is the best gift you can give yourself.

[The Shitter @shttr]

@ragtagop Hello, old friend. I’d hoped you’d still be here. Shit in good health.

[The Shitter @shttr]

I’m older now. Good News: Can use coffee to wake up and reliably predict a shit. Bad News: Everything that tastes good fucks your butt up.

[The Shitter @shttr]

A faint smell of sulfur and shame enters your nostrils. Is he really there? Who is that on the bowl? An old friend had returned.

[The Shitter @shttr]

Burnt my butt like a tongue in hot pizza.

[The Shitter @shttr]

@ragtagop No one is the fartee in my paradise. #believe

[The Shitter @shttr]

Keep farting. No one notices.

[The Shitter @shttr]

Haunted by my bad decisions. Nowhere to run but back to the toilet, my old confidant.

[The Shitter @shttr]

I’m on vacation but my butt is working overtime.

[The Shitter @shttr]

Nothing better than diarrhea on vacation. Voted #1 most fun thing in 15 markets.