Allan.

mostly angry tweets

[Allan. @shutupallane]

When I say I wanna be swept off my feet, I mean by a 30 ton Semi truck going 70 mph down the highway.

[Allan. @shutupallane]

@RealSimpleAriel @ https://t.co/0YoT1ui7Zi

[Allan. @shutupallane]

@midascabal https://t.co/lw1D9XiV33

[Allan. @shutupallane]

Just so everyone knows, my children are absolutely allowed to tell your child to fuck off under the right circumstances. So please don’t come tattling to me if your kid deserved it…

[Allan. @shutupallane]

In my selfish era & I’m not sorry about it

[Allan. @shutupallane]

@ope_haylee @laraholly12 THIS!

[Allan. @shutupallane]

Idk if anything will ever give me the same feeling as buying a brand new pair of Silver Jeans that fit like a glove 😩

[Allan. @shutupallane]

One thing about me is I am always going to laugh at videos of dogs with the zoomies, always.

[Allan. @shutupallane]

@Jess_tastic11 He’s a stand up comedian who is big on TikTok right now. He is young and hot, but I also find him less hot because of his cringy humor 😬

[Allan. @shutupallane]

Am I the only one who doesn’t find Matt Rife funny? Like not even a little…

[Allan. @shutupallane]

@123CocoPot Love you Ambie!

[Allan. @shutupallane]

If you have even an ounce of faith left in our law enforcement and/or judicial system, please go watch White Boy on Netflix😤

*Spoiler alert- fuck them all.

[Allan. @shutupallane]

Mylah has been obsessed with the “Gangnam Style” music video and I just showed her that I can do the dance, so she thinks I am the coolest person alive right now. This is why I love my kids 😅

[Allan. @shutupallane]

@HannaSchneeter Zip lines 😂😂 random af

[Allan. @shutupallane]

I am a “I’m gonna fuck you up” mom and I just can’t help that.

[Allan. @shutupallane]

I don’t care to hear Casey Anthony’s side of the story, not even a little bit. She is a manipulative, lying psychopath. The next time I see her name, I hope to god it’s her obituary.

[Allan. @shutupallane]

You know the best part of being a loyal ass friend? Having loyal ass friends. I have so much support and I am SO thankful 🙏

[Allan. @shutupallane]

Mylah in her teacher voice - “We don’t kill our friends, do we??”

Me- “Um what? No?!” 😳

Mylah- “That’s right. Good job.”

[Allan. @shutupallane]

If I was on death row, my last meal request would be steak and cheese roller grills and a large rooster booster slush from QuikTrip.

[Allan. @shutupallane]

@MReneeB313 I feel that. If it makes you feel any better, your body dysmorphia posts have made me feel so much better about my body image issues. Like if someone as beautiful as you is struggling with the same thing I am, I know it’s gotta be all in our heads!