Sierra Fitzgerald

Comic, Rum Lover, Mischief Maker

contact for booking info

[Sierra Fitzgerald @sierrasgotjokes]

@Uber_Support @Uber There's no good reason why any business shouldn't have a support number! I shouldn't have to jump through hoops to get an issue resolved!

[Sierra Fitzgerald @sierrasgotjokes]

If you're not having club soda with your coffee, I'm so sorry you've been cheated in life.

[Sierra Fitzgerald @sierrasgotjokes]

@ScamGoddessPod I already know an episode on #bishopsycamore is on deck and I'm what...so excited!

[Sierra Fitzgerald @sierrasgotjokes]

Being an adult is one day being footloose and fancy free and next thing you know all the songs you used to dance to are now classics and you're hyped about a sale at Target

[Sierra Fitzgerald @sierrasgotjokes]

Here's the best way to wish me a happy birthday

https://t.co/whgMNTtOb0

[Sierra Fitzgerald @sierrasgotjokes]

Somebody needs to make a movie with @Lesdoggg as a romantic lead. She's funny as hell but I'm tired of folks pretending she's not pretty too

[Secretary Janet Yellen (Archived) @SecYellen]

When someone inevitably writes the book of what it was like to live through the past year, they might want to begin the story in Lake Charles.

In addition to COVID, the city has endured 4 federally declared disasters in 12 months. The region’s mortality rate shot up 25% in 2020.

[Sierra Fitzgerald @sierrasgotjokes]

@KHOU Fully vaccinated and still masking up

[Sierra Fitzgerald @sierrasgotjokes]

@ideasimprove @PlymouthGinUS @FordsGin @Tanquerayusa @DavidWondrich @anguswinchester @ROSimonson @SimonMajumdar I'll never get over how many young bartenders don't understand what you mean when you order a perfect martini even when you name all the brands you want

[Sierra Fitzgerald @sierrasgotjokes]

@merrydevo I had a student ask if I was born in the 19s and my brain stopped working for a few minutes

[Sierra Fitzgerald @sierrasgotjokes]

@MerriamWebster can we go ahead and make sedition the 2021 word of the year?

[Sierra Fitzgerald @sierrasgotjokes]

Honestly I can't even be mad. I accidentally went down a mormon porn rabbit hole one time. I know what's up

[Sierra Fitzgerald @sierrasgotjokes]

@SenatorRomney just said he had 25 grandkids. 25! That whole family needs sex ed and new hobbies.

[Sierra Fitzgerald @sierrasgotjokes]

@hoodqueer I go to Olive Garden when I want $5 drinks with 23 breadsticks to soak them up with. I don't go there for the atmosphere

[Sierra Fitzgerald @sierrasgotjokes]

@staceyabrams You are a national treasure!

[Sierra Fitzgerald @sierrasgotjokes]

Is it too soon(or disrespectful) to start planning my Stacy Abrams costume for Halloween 2021?

[Sierra Fitzgerald @sierrasgotjokes]

@OhNoSheTwitnt Thoughts and prayers

[Sierra Fitzgerald @sierrasgotjokes]

@ValSantosOnAir Yes

[Sierra Fitzgerald @sierrasgotjokes]

Don't let this nonsense in DC distract from the fact that a brown skin, natural hair, full figured, unapologetically black woman worked tirelessly to flip Georgia blue & impact the fate of the nation. Never doubt a black woman on a mission. #StacyAbrams is a national treasure!

[Sierra Fitzgerald @sierrasgotjokes]

@TweetMaybeAngel Break out my space heater