nekathegreat

Eye doc. Generally a skeptic. Always has a half-rotten bag of salad in the fridge.

[nekathegreat @sighteyecare]

Is it just me or are the “select all squares with crosswalks” things getting a lot harder these days

[Bö Jänke: Hönkÿ @Bob_Janke]

The face you make when you're changing an overhead light bulb is the real you

[Miranda ❦ @vi_toka]

They should invent a medical system that helps sick people

[Bob Golen @BobGolen]

Sometimes when I'm doing my taxes I wonder if it wouldn't be easier to just go to prison.

[Lurkin' Mom @LurkAtHomeMom]

Car: omg check your engine!

Me: oh no, what’s wrong with it?

Car: fuck if I know.

[𝘽𝙡𝙖𝙠𝙚 @Arealmfngl]

Just got to the part in Mean Girls where they're doing their apologies and one girl says "Alexa, I'm sorry i called you a gap-toothed bitch" and my Amazon Alexa said "no worries"

[Jay 💫 @Jayyakamii]

How do they know if an animal is extinct like did they really check everywhere?

[Nayele18 @nayele18maybe]

My emergency preparedness kit just contains all the ingredients necessary to make nachos

[meghan @deloisivete]

My 5yo niece got bangs, so I guess she's going through some stuff

[Skylar Romines @skylarromines]

Me: drinking a single, lovely glass of champagne
12 year old who has been taking DARE: ‘are you enjoying your depressant’?

[Man of Letters @manofletterz]

you think it's easy being this goddamn positive all the fucking time

[MaKhoza🍯 @jaytcoza]

We just accepted air fryers and never once questioned how air fries things.

[Mufasa007 @Mufasa0062]

Wife bought something on
FB Marketplace but she's afraid she'll get kidnapped so she sends me to pick it up from a guy who's wife sent him because she's afraid to get kidnapped.

[Katie D @KatieDeal99]

They say half the battle of getting in shape is mental so I thought about the gym really hard today

[I Hide From My Kids @IHideFromMyKids]

I just took 18 pictures of a bird. Someone call the nursing home, I’m ready.

[meghan @deloisivete]

Step 1 of any recipe should be my husband stops standing in front of the drawer I need

[Spooky JL @spooky_JL]

Mixing 1% milk and 2% milk to create the forbidden 1.72% milk

[Jennifer Parker @Mrs_JParker]

Imagine if we had to worry about dinosaurs too on top of everything else.

[Not Today Eric @NotTodayEric]

You can just tell that the person who came up with the spelling for Wednesday was kind of a dick.

[Meg @megannn_lynne]

the dentist asking if a monday at 2pm in november works & you just have to be like Well Ok.