Tim Foster

Christian | Loving living among @ChristCPreston | One of the wonderful @10ofthose team | Foolish, broken and unworthy but (by pure grace) one of the Redeemed!

[Paul Rees. ex Rucksack. @HannahIamthest1]

Quotes From British Military Annual Personnel Reports.

1. His men would follow him anywhere, but only out of curiosity.

2. I would not breed from this Officer.

3. This man is depriving a village somewhere of its idiot.

4. This officer can be likened to a small puppy - he runs around excitedly, leaving little messes for other people to clean up.

5. This Officer is really not so much of a has-been, more of a definitely won't-be.

6. When she opens her mouth, it seems only to change whichever foot was previously in there.

7. Couldn't organise 50% leave in a 2 man submarine.

8. He has carried out each and every one of his duties to his entire satisfaction.

9. He would be out of his depth in a car park puddle.

10. Technically sound, but socially impossible.

11. The occasional flashes of adequacy are marred by an attitude of apathy and indifference.

12. When he joined my ship, this Officer was something of a granny; since then he has aged considerably.

13. This Medical Officer has used my ship to carry his genitals from port to port, and my officers to carry him from bar to bar.

14. This Officer reminds me very much of a gyroscope, always spinning around at a frantic pace, but not really going anywhere.

15. Since my last report he has reached rock bottom, and has started to dig.

16. She sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to achieve them.

17. He has the wisdom of youth, and the energy of old age.

18. This Officer should go far, and the sooner he starts, the better.

19. In my opinion this pilot should not be authorised to fly below 250 feet.

20. The only ship I would recommend for this man is citizenship.

21. Couldn't organise a woodpecker's picnic in Sherwood Forest.

22. Works well when under constant supervision and cornered like a rat in a trap.

23. Not the sharpest knife in the drawer.

24. Gates are down, the lights are flashing, but the train isn't coming.

25. Has two brains; one is lost and the other is out looking for it.

26. If he were any more stupid, he'd have to be watered twice a week.

27. Got into the gene pool while the lifeguard wasn't watching.

28. If you stand close enough to him, you can hear the ocean.

29. It's hard to believe that he beat 1,000,000 other sperm.

30. A room temperature IQ.

31. Got a full 6-pack, but lacks the plastic thingy to hold it all together.

32. A gross ignoramus, 143 times worse than an ordinary ignoramus.

33. He has a photographic memory but has the lens cover glued on.

34. He has been working with glue too long.

35. When his IQ reaches 50, he should sell.

36. This man hasn't got enough grey matter to sole the flip-flop of a one legged budgie.

37. If two people are talking, and one looks bored, he's the other one.

38. One-celled organisms would out score him in an IQ test.

39. He donated his body to science before he was done using it.

40. Fell out of the stupid tree and hit every branch on the way down.

41. He's so dense, light bends around him.

42. If brains were taxed, he'd get a rebate.

43. Some drink from the fountain of knowledge; he only gargled.

44. Takes him 1.1/2 hours to watch 60 minutes.

45. Wheel is turning, but the hamster is long gone.

😁😁

[Tim Foster @silentcontrib]

@LittleLauraMcK I'm sorry Laura, will definitely be praying for you!

[Elisa @ItsMeElisaLou]

But if you're going to get stuck in something, may it be a tire swing.

[Tim Foster @silentcontrib]

A brilliant little reminder of how to respond to worship. Really appreciated this: Respond to the truth not the feeling https://t.co/6hVcQI1Rnh via @simplepastor

[Tim Foster @silentcontrib]

@NotThatRBaxter I don't think she mistook you for the 400 year old puritan, as much as she wondered if there was another one... Which is a scary thought ;)

[Tim Foster @silentcontrib]

@mitchellchase @ivpacademic @DrGladd @L_MMorales @ASChalmers

[Mitch Chase @mitchellchase]

🔥EPIC GIVEAWAY🔥

Tuesday was the official release of my new book with @ivpacademic, Walking the Way of the Wise: A Biblical Theology of Wisdom. It's the latest addition to the ESBT series (edited by @DrGladd and @L_MMorales).

To celebrate this week's launch of Walking the Way of the Wise, IVP is giving away--again!--an ENTIRE SET of the ESBT series. The series is magnificent, and I want it to be yours!

To enter, simply repost this announcement and tag a friend.

While I have you here, follow this account and check out my Biblical Theology newsletter (see profile), where I write regularly about the Bible and theology.

The winner of the giveaway will be announced this Saturday, June 7th.

I hope you'll keep my new book on your radar for yourself and others. If you'd like to support the launch of the book, a simple post online can have a great ripple effect! And reviews on major book sites are super helpful.

Join me in thinking about what it means to walk wisely with God, who has made us for His glory and who upholds us on the narrow way that leads to life.

[Tim Foster @silentcontrib]

@Logos John

[Tim Foster @silentcontrib]

@ASChalmers I can't confess that the Pope is the anti-Christ, so sadly not. But it's a great tool for discussion!

[Tim Foster @silentcontrib]

@NotThatRBaxter The classic would be The Cod Father... But I'm more partial to The Lord of the (Onion) Rings

[Scotty Smith @ScottyWardSmith]

https://t.co/yf8JOZW5fo

[Tim Foster @silentcontrib]

This is an interesting little article I read: https://t.co/dQgT3GnUCN - What do you think?

[Matt Cartoons @MattCartoonist]

My latest cartoon for tomorrow's @Telegraph

Buy a print of my cartoons at https://t.co/ILFJjPmckx

Original artwork from https://t.co/bVPAkgE34y

[Amanda Achtman @AmandaAchtman]

"Can someone please explain how we cannot qualify for assisted living but we automatically qualify for assisted death?" 🤔🤔🤔

[Tim Foster @silentcontrib]

@NotThatRBaxter Only-a-quarter quarter November? ;) Wouldn't it be amazing to find that there's actually a whole bunch of us presuppositional apologists out there trying desperately to not be jerks while engaging with neighbours and showing them grace?!

[Tim Foster @silentcontrib]

This judgment is very troubling. Help ensure that our thoughts cannot be criminalised! - Click here: https://t.co/yP1Tkr8SrO

[Dan Strange @DrDanStrange]

My ‘Making Faith Magnetic’ ebook free this month! Come on! https://t.co/5nfVe6kMmN

[Adam Thomas @AdamMerrivale]

Which of these images best describes how good you are at remembering to include the attachment when you send an email