simon howard

Chef, food nut, toon fan and wannabe wine buff

[simon howard @sim_howard]

@guy_owen ...except the individual who throws away the cling film box 😡

[Have I Got News For You @haveigotnews]

1% for NHS staff is all the government can afford, says recipient of eight pay rises in 10 years.

[Giles Coren @gilescoren]

“Hey guess what, Mon, this is the last time we will ever go abroad because in about, ooh, two months there is going to be a pandemic and this show will be delayed for 18 months and St Lucia will be the last place we ever went... “

“Ha ha ha fuck off Giles”

[Kate Masterofwhine @Masterofwhine]

I miss airports, and taxiing, take-off, landings, gin and tonic on board... #avgeek 😢

[The Angry Democrat @AngryDemdotcom]

This might just be the funniest thing I’ve seen with regards to the #CapitolRiot

[Victoria Ferran ✨🔮 @radio_vicky]

Word of the day from Finland = KALSARIKÄNNIT
The feeling when you are going to get drunk home alone in your underwear – with no intention of going out.

[Darren Dutton @Darren_Dutton]

If you missed today's daily briefing, this was the gist of it

[Adrian Edmondson ❎ @AdrianEdmondson]

When I was 17 I got myself into trouble trying to withdraw more than I had from the bank. I pretended my mum had sent a cheque. They wrote to her. I intercepted the letter and replied ‘for her’. They replied, I replied... Every lie grew another. I ended up looking like this 👇

[Joe Lycett @joelycett]

'RITA ORA' is an anagram of 'PARTY' if you totally ignore the rules.

[God @TheTweetOfGod]

I just got My hand back. #RIPMaradona

[Hayden Groves👨‍🍳🚴 @Hayden1974]

Scientists & Government advisors be like....

#TuesdayThoughts #HospitalityJobs

[Joe Biden @JoeBiden]

You won't have to worry about my tweets when I'm president.

[Simon Blackwell @simonblackwell]

Matt Hancock announces all stable doors to be closed in 10 days' time.

[simon howard @sim_howard]

@leemoney75 Couldn't get a table?

[Alan Woodward @ProfWoodward]

For those who still don’t get it

[simon howard @sim_howard]

@felloutofbed Wow, this makes me so happy. Makes us sound really good 😂Didn't know we had a published review. Also, didn't know Mickey Millmore worked for the NME!

[simon howard @sim_howard]

@leemoney75 It's so true 😂😂😂😂