Simon Massey

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[Simon Massey @SimonAMassey]

@nationalrailenq @Se_Railway Chop chop @Se_Railway

[Simon Massey @SimonAMassey]

@Se_Railway @nationalrailenq on a train that departed 17:36 from Orpington and due to call at Sevenoaks approx 18:03. Train is currently stuck at Dunton Green station but it doesn’t call there. Please open the doors to let any passengers off who could alight here

[Simon Massey @SimonAMassey]

@Se_Railway Dunton Green station ticket machine has not been functioning for several days now. The station is not staffed. I cannot retrieve my paper ticket for travel (again). Sort it out.

[Simon Massey @SimonAMassey]

@SouthernRailUK @nationalrailenq Hi Shawn. I DM’d you

[Simon Massey @SimonAMassey]

@nationalrailenq @SouthernRailUK
My dad has left a green rucksack on the 15:35 from Victoria to Southampton Central when he changed at Clapham, what’s the best route to get in touch with the train guard and retrieve this asap?

[Simon Massey @SimonAMassey]

@nationalrailenq @SouthernRailUK Ok, is there a way to reach the train guard or terminating station? as it contains his passport which he needs to travel with tomorrow

[Simon Massey @SimonAMassey]

@joythestore I’ve been sent incorrect items for an Xmas gift and yet to receive a response from your customer service. Help please.

[Simon Massey @SimonAMassey]

@GaryLineker really hope you to get to see this. Jonathan Pie is on your side and always tells it like it is 💪 #Solidarity #MOTDboycott #ImWithGary #Lineker https://t.co/rmNUjVg8cy via @YouTube

[Simon Massey @SimonAMassey]

@NoContextBrits No Wank For Old Men

[Simon Massey @SimonAMassey]

Take a bow son. *Slow clap* 👏🏻 #shitparking #badparking #welldone #parking @BadParkingLDN

[Simon Massey @SimonAMassey]

Oi @SouthernWater. Spotted off the coast of Whitstable where you’ve been dumping sewage 💩care to explain? 🦆 @sascampaigns @EnvAgency #SewageScandal #sewage #TorySewageParty

[Simon Massey @SimonAMassey]

Colin survives the fall, he worked on the ground floor. However in a cruel twist of fate he is trampled to death by kids and parents leaving the Matinée of “Peppa Pig’s Porking Great Panto” #BorisJohnsonOut #boris #borisjohnson #ToryShambles

[Simon Massey @SimonAMassey]

@BorisJohnson Whitehall Civil servant who dared to dream, solemnly sets alight several pilot scripts of “Parliament Puffin” after seeing all Whitehall staff belittled. As flames engulf the pages he thinks to himself, ‘I guess the dream dies here, Colin. What might have been.’ 😢

[Simon Massey @SimonAMassey]

Colin throws himself out of the nearest window

[Simon Massey @SimonAMassey]

Yes please. @htgvelociraptor @bluntbloke @chamesjambers

#BrewDogAndFriends.

[BrewDog @BrewDog]

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[Simon Massey @SimonAMassey]

@theEdukator Keep your gob shut and you’ll do well

[Simon Massey @SimonAMassey]

@theEdukator the show we should have seen. #jamesacaster

[Simon Massey @SimonAMassey]

@BrewDog @BrewDogJames only half my online order arrived today, yet marked complete/delivered. No helpline, ticket system is 5 day response time. I’m currently £60 of my order missing which is intended to be Xmas gifts. Not really good enough service for an Equity Punk #brewdog

[Simon Massey @SimonAMassey]

@Pret

As if 2020 cant get any worse, your frankly crack-like Dark Chocolate Salted Almonds are no longer on your Deliveroo in central London. These were keeping our team going in the office. We love them. Please immediately reconsider. I'll beg if need be #pret #pretamanger