David Lancaster

[David Lancaster @sinestempus]

Why did weed smell so good when you were younger but now it smells like paranoia plume

[David Lancaster @sinestempus]

@cooksley90 its very simple Gemma.... you can't marmalade your cock up a girls arse but you can jam one! Question answered

[Mixmag @Mixmag]

Wanna dance in our office with @AnnieMac this Friday? Thought so. RT TO GET INVOLVED http://t.co/Af7TTxZMZD

[Laura Robson @LauraRobson87]

Thanks for the shout out @AnnieMac @sinestempus and I have waited most Sundays for that 🙏❤️🙏❤️🙏❤️ #sundaystrength #musicalhotwaterbottle

[David Lancaster @sinestempus]

@SulliMick ive heard of worse plans 👌

[David Lancaster @sinestempus]

@SulliMick hangover Sunday and Monday then 😉

[David Lancaster @sinestempus]

I was teaching my mum how to play UNO and she beat me! 😩😩 @LauraRobson87 @cooksley90 @obrien_ceri the shame!

[David Lancaster @sinestempus]

@_LEMMO_ come back Lemmo

[David Lancaster @sinestempus]

Run out of prosecco! Shambles! Get your coat marjorie, we are going!

[Here's Troxy @sethtroxler]

props to @tomorroworld for telling it how it is!

[David Lancaster @sinestempus]

@LauraRobson87 @cooksley90 @obrien_ceri pa ha ha, good joke Robson! UNO champion 😂😂

[know @Know]

If you ever want to call a family meeting, just turn off the WiFi router and wait in the room in which its located

[David Lancaster @sinestempus]

@allantsaysthis 😂😂😂😂 you know why im laughing! 9pm you say!

[David Lancaster @sinestempus]

I have seen the maxi, i have seen the mini but @bird96calamity say hello to the midi! (Wine glass for scale)

[David Lancaster @sinestempus]

An exotic fruit solero could have been a bad decision. Could have but was'nt! On point!

[David Lancaster @sinestempus]

@chadleymiles i did wonder as couldnt get you on whatsapp yesterday. Yes mate, come with me and @allantsaysthis

[David Lancaster @sinestempus]

@scottyfielding9 car in front of me has korn or slayer or something of that ilk blasting out as well! This is torture!!!

[David Lancaster @sinestempus]

TRAFFIC RAGE!!!! 😡😡😡😡

[David Lancaster @sinestempus]

@VictoriaWorker awwww thats really kind of you babe, drop them round when they arrive then and i might let you have a glass xx

[David Lancaster @sinestempus]

@allantsaysthis favourite game to play! You have def come out with some better ones than these but 15 is pure evil! http://t.co/RysSkI8C81