row ‼️

[celestya @imcelestya]

i’m lowkey a bum ass canadian

[cow @cowincrisis]

guys…… what do they mean by “ground beef”…… ?

[@seedlin9 @seedlin9]

im starting to think the stripper doesnt love me

[nic @jortkingit]

the stripper will learn to love me in time

[m @skitzocat]

quitting porn to focus on substance abuse

[The Lobster @LikeableLobster]

The Lobster is nimble and clever.

[im unc @bl1sterex1sts]

Your giggly ass could NOT play poker

[latina hannibal lecter @morbidmomo]

i need to be put in a sock and swung very hard into many objects and surfaces

[hamsta @goobygirl2]

not right now i'm playing twitter

[死 @humanxmaybe]

to catch a bus you have to think like a bus

[Gram Smoker’s Dracula @chilledspectre]

i’m like this because my mother was bitten by a ghost during pregnancy

[eve @csiirac]

freaks the fuck out and explodes into a million pieces

[Debbie Downer @ANGELBABYBITTY]

Did ur situationship tell u good morning or do I have to do it

[lea chin-sang @bigfatmoosepssy]

i think i got a few divorces in me tbh

[Debbie Downer @ANGELBABYBITTY]

All I’ve had today is An orgasm and a celsius

[the heart @Fredward3948576]

All signs point to maybe

[•ultra glitch• @highsieze6]

telling the cashier she should frown

[tendollar @tendollardanny]

just always feel like i’m doing an impression of a human

[cabby @cabby]

Fuck this gay earth til it’s pregnant