daniel laitman

[daniel laitman @skitzocomedy]

ignore the last tweet/repost I'm still figuring this out (years after getting an account) but honestly, who's else is having a "He's Expecting" watch party immediately after reading about this?

[daniel laitman @skitzocomedy]

@DonaldJTrumpJr I mean this might be the only good thing you've ever done and I am adding this to my watch list, this is amazing...

[Donald Trump Jr. @DonaldJTrumpJr]

Netflix: we can’t figure out why we’re hemorrhaging hundreds of thousands of subscribers.

Also Netflix:

[daniel laitman @skitzocomedy]

high thought: do you think the captain of the Titanic was like, a good captain?

[daniel laitman @skitzocomedy]

@wildenglish Hiya! I’m glad that you’re keeping up hope and I’m glad I could help. The first year is always tough but it DOES get better!! Clozapine definitely helps! If I can help in some other facet let me know

[daniel laitman @skitzocomedy]

I mean it’d be fun if he lost twice...

[The Hill @thehill]

Poll: Most Republicans want Trump to run for White House in 2024 https://t.co/10QDwSgpdZ

[Chad Opitz @chadopitz]

I'm a little suspicious of the new maid they just hired for the White House

[daniel laitman @skitzocomedy]

see don? not all bad!

[daniel laitman @skitzocomedy]

There’s a standard for podcasts?!

[The Hill @thehill]

YouTube removes Steve Bannon podcast channel over false election claims https://t.co/NcKvxzxEjX

[daniel laitman @skitzocomedy]

The vaccine demand has health officials turning to Eventbrite which explains why every vaccination comes with a two drink minimum

[daniel laitman @skitzocomedy]

People still went to New Year’s Eve parties to watch both the ball and their friends drop

[daniel laitman @skitzocomedy]

Washington Post wrote “the 10 best things Trump did in 2020” top of the list? “lose”

[daniel laitman @skitzocomedy]

love it when people post pictures of the thing that will soon take them down....

[Donald J. Trump @realDonaldTrump]

https://t.co/S6fKpzoXZZ

[ali @probablyalissa]

bill nye is short for william new year’s eve

[daniel laitman @skitzocomedy]

"FINALLY got this important shit settled!" -stoners

[The Hill @thehill]

Ex-FDA head celebrates rule change that will allow frozen cherry pies to be "especially thick" https://t.co/A51pIdRgJ3

[daniel laitman @skitzocomedy]

I feel gross saying this but, listen to Chris Christie?

[The Hill @thehill]

Chris Christie: "I wore a mask for 7 months -- that's how I stayed healthy."

[daniel laitman @skitzocomedy]

Bill Barr is leaving the White House by the holidays so it will much less of a white Christmas

[daniel laitman @skitzocomedy]

THANK YOU

[The New York Times @nytimes]

It’s the musical of TikTok’s dreams: “Ratatouille” is coming to the slightly larger screen near you.
https://t.co/DDUjXdpJ5f

[daniel laitman @skitzocomedy]

I know this is totally not the point of this clip, but it's really encouraging to know that Chris Cuomo thinks "The Princess Bride" is one of the best movies of all time https://t.co/72DDb0U8Dq via @YouTube

[daniel laitman @skitzocomedy]

Because nothing says innocent like buying $30 million property after having a government job

[The Hill @thehill]

Ivanka Trump, Jared Kushner buying $30 million lot in Florida "Billionaire's Bunker" https://t.co/USlo2GpW8m