Das Good

@skoog alt

[Das Good @skoogeth]

@ASOS_Us @ASOS_HeretoHelp

[Das Good @skoogeth]

@ASOS i purchased an overcoat that i would now like to return. i didn’t realize it was too big and had already split the pocket seams and removed the tag but i still have the tag and order sheet. can i still return?

[Das Good @skoogeth]

@ASOS_HeretoHelp y’all around or do i need to tweet this from my main account

[Das Good @skoogeth]

@ABisexualWriter @Skoog once i have some semblance of a routine together. i want to start next year.

[Das Good @skoogeth]

@awfulsexadvice @Skoog yeah? ever seen a 19yo respond to some dickhead reply guys? they were born into this game

[Das Good @skoogeth]

ok cool

[Das Good @skoogeth]

testing to see if i can turn off replies for a thread

[Das Good @skoogeth]

here is the test part...

[Das Good @skoogeth]

everyday god takes the ability to fly from penguins and gives it to caterpillars and that's why penguins have sworn to murder him and take his golden throne

[Das Good @skoogeth]

[playing spin the bottle]

girl: [spins and it lands on me] haha hey

me: [grabs bottle and swallows it whole] this game is weird

[Das Good @skoogeth]

i like in movies when two fighters are both really strong and hit their swords together so hard that they shatter and then they both stare at the shattered swords like “omg how are we both SO STRONG” and then they make a joint decision to battle with fists

[Das Good @skoogeth]

We come across the government putting up caution tape around a massive hole in the ground. “What is it?” you ask one of the workers. He looks over both his shoulders, eyes full of fear. “My buddy overheard some scientists saying it was the Earth’s juicy fat pussy.”

[Das Good @skoogeth]

“Git,” says the woman. “Go on git!” but me and the other pigeons barely flutter. This is our Twitter and she is our favorite Influencer.

[Das Good @skoogeth]

a beer and a plant and my lamp collection under stain glass

[Das Good @skoogeth]

*clink*

*clink*

*clinkclinkclink*

me: do you like your soup?

*clink*

me: grandpa! do you like your soup!

*clinkclink* [stops]

grandpa: i killed a man in korea

me: grandma said you were never stationed in korea

grandpa: it was 1978. i paid good money to do it too

*clink*

[Das Good @skoogeth]

really unwell tho. just full of electric bile. also, i should stop trying to be so fucking poetic about things and also limit my cursing.

[Das Good @skoogeth]

got too many thoughts. shouldn't be on main.

[Das Good @skoogeth]

i don't own enough swords for my liking

[Das Good @skoogeth]

@Skoog well then awayyyyy we go

[Das Good @skoogeth]

people keep saying, "should you open a beer and risk waking your cat or wife?" and i just don't know how to answer them

[Das Good @skoogeth]

@Skoog well i can't argue with that now i can i?