Jordan Almodovar

The Macchiato Buckaroo

[Jordan Almodovar @skrtbacharach]

I think I could be a great monk but I love soda and rock and roll music too much to commit

[Jordan Almodovar @skrtbacharach]

I'm the only person at this country line dancing night that really understands the finer points of Vampire Weekend's discography

[Jordan Almodovar @skrtbacharach]

in a real bind here. need new glasses but can’t let the hot optometrist know I have bad eyesight. doing my best to convince her that I just love squinting

[Jordan Almodovar @skrtbacharach]

brought a book on adhd with me for my flight. gonna call the flight attendants to my seat to ask if they think I have it

[Jordan Almodovar @skrtbacharach]

bringing a book with me to hooters to let them know I’m a man of many interests

[Jordan Almodovar @skrtbacharach]

blasting a cigarette during the intermission
of the brutalist, nobody lives it up quite like me

[Jordan Almodovar @skrtbacharach]

turning 29 next week, getting really into guitar pedals despite having none. might smoke my quarterly cigarette soon to end the year right

[Jordan Almodovar @skrtbacharach]

thinkin about wearing my cowboy hat to the meditation center tomorrow. need to see how good they are at resisting distraction

[Jordan Almodovar @skrtbacharach]

my back hurts this morning from playing skee-ball too hard last night. other boys of summer may exist but they’re not doing it like me

[Jordan Almodovar @skrtbacharach]

some of you guys have whack levels of cortisol. Not me though, mine have always been correct

[Jordan Almodovar @skrtbacharach]

real feel 98 today. just bought some raw denim jeans for myself. I’m the only person still committed to wearing real pants and having a bad time

[Jordan Almodovar @skrtbacharach]

I love living my life like a beach boy song - hanging out at by the beach, drinking root beer, generally feeling sad

[Jordan Almodovar @skrtbacharach]

too early for my doctor’s appt. now I’m in the car listening to bruce springsteen’s “Nebraska”. Fellas, who can’t relate

[Jordan Almodovar @skrtbacharach]

I’m not afraid to say it - I’m only person in this Ace Hardware who really “gets” Vampire Weekend

[Jordan Almodovar @skrtbacharach]

I need to get something off my chest. If I was one of those dogs that gets pushed around in a stroller, I’d probably feel pretty good about it

[Jordan Almodovar @skrtbacharach]

reading a paperback copy of a book printed in 1973 with two full page color ads for cigarettes in it. this country used to stand for something, we used to have vision

[Jordan Almodovar @skrtbacharach]

I just have to have the best fit on here at this meditation center

[Jordan Almodovar @skrtbacharach]

just made a deal for my first car, now i can be like my hero - stuart little

[Jordan Almodovar @skrtbacharach]

now that I’m 28, I’m allowed to walk behind the counter at most restaurants I go to. the time for secrets is over