Matt Clifton

super space detective, boffin, gardener, foreigner, poet, pest. I am one half of and all of he/him

[Matt Clifton @slightly99]

Marco Polo: ... right, I’m off to explore Asia
Italians: Can you pick up a Chinese?
MP: A ... Chinese?
I: Yeah, you know, some pasta ... baked ziti ? Maybe a pizza
MP: Did the Chinese invent pizza? I don’t think —
I: Yeah, get a Hawaiian

[Matt Clifton @slightly99]

My eating disorder and sleep disorder combine at 2am and so here I am in the kitchen making a double bowl of oatmeal

[Matt Clifton @slightly99]

@thomasareed Congratulations! 🏃

[Matt Clifton @slightly99]

I’m at the age where any conversation I start is either about gardening or healthcare. I’m so sorry.

[Matt Clifton @slightly99]

2.30am is a real crunch point for existential depression

[Matt Clifton @slightly99]

@dubzkis The Star Destroyer is pretty badass, but I do love the maneuverability of the Assassin-class Corvette.

[Matt Clifton @slightly99]

@gralefrit My biggest disappointment there is that Maureen Lipman writes for the Mail.

[Matt Clifton @slightly99]

@RandPaul Oh your prayers go out? What do your prayers say? What do they fucking say? Exactly what words are in those prayers that you’re sending out?

[Mordecai @MenschOhneMusil]

Maria Callas - Medea. London, 1959.

[Matt Clifton @slightly99]

@davidwhittam Is Bill Baggs responsible for this?

[Matt Clifton @slightly99]

I wish the English language wasn’t using “dropped” as “introduced” as WELL as for “let go” because it is quite confusing

[Matt Clifton @slightly99]

Do I HAVE to get out of this bath and go to bed?

[Matt Clifton @slightly99]

@cjhancock “Hit me with your Rhythm Stick” (Ian Dury) - lots of foreign places; “You’ll Always Find me in the Kitchen at Parties” (Jona Lewie) - loads of UK places (most of them at the end of song and lyric listings omit them) - inc my hometown “toasters of Tonbridge”

[Matt Clifton @slightly99]

My fridge has started to make excited “woo!” noises in the middle of the night. It’s either prepping for robot takeover of the world, or it’s dying, because the food we have in there right now is not that exciting.

[Matt Clifton @slightly99]

@Read_Instead 6’4”. Used to be 6’5” but I got a herniated disk.

[Matt Clifton @slightly99]

@CraigCaplan @cspan Watch @Sen_JoeManchin vote this down like a fucking asshole

[Matt Clifton @slightly99]

Submitted a batch of poems to a couple of journals today. I feel quite proud of myself!

[Matt Clifton @slightly99]

@AppleTVPlus Partly filmed in Beacon NY, hey yo shoutout to the home crowd

[Matt Clifton @slightly99]

Love going to the gym first thing in the morning so I can be absolutely destroyed for the entire rest of the day

[Matt Clifton @slightly99]

@macworld Drivers licenses in Wallet

[Matt Clifton @slightly99]

@britishlibrary Always, to this day, smash the bottom of an upturned egg shell after eating a boiled egg. So witches can’t use them as boats. I’m 50.