Jake Simon

[mark normand @marknorm]

This looks like a Disney movie where a 12 year old becomes president

[Jerry O'Connell @MrJerryOC]

Hope there's time to touch on this story on @PardonMyTake tomorrow but hearing there's a pretty long debate on 'I-SHOW-SPEED.'

[Mike @hammerito]

I don't follow NBA a ton but shoutout to Bam Margera man

[Jake Simon @slimeysimes12]

@TheNewAmerica77 @RareBourbonHub I find the Rio has an underlying tequila taste to it - can’t really figure it out. Love the Valencia, agree Havana too sweet

[Barstool Sports @barstoolsports]

The Guardians Being 28th In Spending ($8 Million) After Back-To-Back AL Central Titles Is DISGUSTING https://t.co/mzfEbj8Cvk

[Jake Simon @slimeysimes12]

@NFL_DovKleiman We have never seen anything like this

[Jake Simon @slimeysimes12]

@NFL_DovKleiman This has become the worst account in football twitter

[NE Ohio Scanner @NEO_Scan]

CLE ~ Watercraft Incident - Goodtime III - Responding for a 35M who jumped in the water. #ThingsWeHear -BW

[Jake Simon @slimeysimes12]

@BarstoolBigCat shocked you didn’t have Jerry Garcia on today’s #mountrushmore. Big miss!

[Jake Simon @slimeysimes12]

@CalebCohen @austinabbott

[Jake Sherman @JakeSherman]

It is scary being an American Jew right now. We go to synagogues that are fortified with armed guards and police. Kids go to schools that have layers of security. Campuses and cities are filled with antisemitism. This isn't the world I grew up in. It's disgusting and disheartening. And I don't know how it will end.

[Jake Simon @slimeysimes12]

@JakeCrain_ Down 7 this is so cringe

[Jared Cook @jkimballcook]

the first pope to have saved big money at menards

[Dan Carney @DanManCarney]

So JFK died of Covid

[Jake Simon @slimeysimes12]

@FrankieBorrelli @BARSTOOLBEEF_ He’ll always be Cody Frankie, head golf professional to me @yazzysosnazzy

[Jake Simon @slimeysimes12]

@RealCandaceO Cunt

[Jake Simon @slimeysimes12]

@NFL_DovKleiman Herbert

[𝕹𝖎𝖈𝖍𝖔𝖑𝖆𝖘 𝕯𝖊𝕺𝖗𝖎𝖔 @nicholasdeorio]

When Jake Paul is 45 years old, he will be knocked out by 29 year old Big Justice. His father AJ reminded him to “bring the boom” just before the 8th round.

[Swensons Drive-In @SwensonsDriveIn]

Like if a Galley Boy hates to see you coming.

[Jasmine 🌌🔭 @astro_jaz]

since its release 10 years ago in october 2014, only an hour and 16 minutes have passed on miller’s planet in interstellar