~Emily~

mention it all

[~Emily~ @sm3mily]

I was doing my Brutus v Cesar mean girls monologue for my coworker and I was like “why aren’t you laughing” and she was like “you’ve done this monologue for me before”

[~Emily~ @sm3mily]

I just bit into a grape tomato at work and the juice shot up my nose and I gotta tell ya I feel ALIVE.

[~Emily~ @sm3mily]

For me, becoming an adult means forcing yourself to like things like Greek yogurt and tomatoes.

[~Emily~ @sm3mily]

Does anyone else see their car on the road in the same color while driving and think it’s a glitch in the matrix??

[~Emily~ @sm3mily]

@Andy Not about bravo- but did you ever get annoyed with Ellen as a guest on her show? She kind of made you sound like an alcoholic lol

[~Emily~ @sm3mily]

Scheana Marie Shay Honey-Davies.

[~Emily~ @sm3mily]

Lol the other day my brother asked me what Scandoval was bc he literally thought someone was murdered or something based on the media psychoness.

[~Emily~ @sm3mily]

The scripted biopic of the guy who invented Hot Cheetos is really what we’ve been asking Hollywood for all along.

[~Emily~ @sm3mily]

I need to discuss with my therapist why I kept typing/working at my desk in complete denial for several seconds during an obvious earthquake. My entire building was moving lol

[~Emily~ @sm3mily]

The fact we are in our “King” era with Charles is really REALLY off brand for me.

[~Emily~ @sm3mily]

I love me some Kimmy but the belly button of it all…. What’s going on there….

[~Emily~ @sm3mily]

One thing about me is that I’ll ALWAYS accidentally eat citrus after brushing my teeth :)

[~Emily~ @sm3mily]

I’m just a girl who thinks about the microwave from Spy Kids much too often.

[~Emily~ @sm3mily]

@docous No it’s giving it’s not about the pasta….

[~Emily~ @sm3mily]

The look I get from non-bravo watchers when I say “I’m a housewives girl” is sickening and wrong

[~Emily~ @sm3mily]

Brunch girlies who dress like it’s a club I will NVR UNDERSTAND YOU UNDER MY HAT AND HANGOVER SUNGLASSES!!!

[~Emily~ @sm3mily]

K I haven’t worked at this office for v long and was just explaining to my new coworkers the premise of Snowpiercer (the hit classic) and they think I’m crazy now so that’s cool

[~Emily~ @sm3mily]

@newconklin Someone at the pool in my complex was playing Forrest Gump on their phone while I was laying out next to her the other day and I gotta tell ya… I almost shed a tear

[~Emily~ @sm3mily]

Coming out of Twitter hiding to say there’s nothing scarier than seeing a huge spider, getting up to get something to kill it, and then coming back and it’s gone :/

[~Emily~ @sm3mily]

Just remembered how I was trying to drunkenly explain My Octopus Teacher to a girl at Steph’s bach party and her being so confused and me screaming ITS BEAUTIFUL TRUST ME

[~Emily~ @sm3mily]

I hate to sound like a millennial but when are people going to stop clarifying whether or not an email is “all lowercase?”