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smartasswaitress
@smartasswaitres
Waitressing for 21 years. Every time I think I've seen it all, I'm unpleasantly surprised. But I'll tell you alllll about it.
Joined November 2010
525
Following
1.4K
Followers
1.6K
Posts
smartasswaitress
@smartasswaitres
about 9 years ago
@Rebeslc thank you..it was a tough week...
smartasswaitress
@smartasswaitres
about 9 years ago
@server_diaries
i had two other staff called in sick that day, it was a bad day. but thank you.
smartasswaitress
@smartasswaitres
about 9 years ago
What is it about spring that makes people turn into assholes?
smartasswaitress
@smartasswaitres
about 9 years ago
Last time you were in you had a five minute rant on the speed of your $5 special ...what makes you think I want you in my section now?
Who to follow
pissyserver
@pissyserver
Older. Wiser. Still a goofball.
Bitter Ass Server
@BitterAssServer
The service industry sucks so bad I had to take it to the tweets. Email:
[email protected]
Hater the PATROIT
@HaterTheWaiter
Former waiter now full-time PATROIT! Karate Sensay to Seal Team 6/Makeout coach to supermodels/Enfluencer. NOT a parity account-I’m the real deal #PATROITPOSSEE
smartasswaitress
@smartasswaitres
about 9 years ago
If you do not know how to behave in a public place such as a restaurant... Please stay home and eat Campbell's Soup ... we'd appreciate it
smartasswaitress
@smartasswaitres
about 9 years ago
You know ... if you say you are never coming back to this restaurant... can you just stick to that resolution?
smartasswaitress
@smartasswaitres
about 9 years ago
Congratulations! You are the biggest douchebag of the day ... as your award you get an extra 15% added to your bill... and don't come back
smartasswaitress
@smartasswaitres
about 9 years ago
Sir if you don't understand that your drink comes out in the order it was received.. And not the fact that you are the biggest asshole ...
smartasswaitress
@smartasswaitres
about 9 years ago
The day when you have to put your pet down... And your customer calls you out on not being perky enough
#postalwaitress
smartasswaitress
@smartasswaitres
almost 10 years ago
@BelowTheSalt
sorry about that, I'll check it out and see what's happening!
smartasswaitress
@smartasswaitres
almost 10 years ago
A whiskey sour and make it a stiff one. A double, sir? No, stiff. Why don't you just say you want extra alcohol free of charge then, sir?
smartasswaitress
@smartasswaitres
almost 10 years ago
*take water to table* Can I have a straw? *return with straw* and a lemon? *return with lemon* she wants a lemon too. *return with gun*
smartasswaitress
@smartasswaitres
almost 10 years ago
suddenly noticed I'm the only one on the floor...wtf? how is it possible 5 people all need a smoke break AT THE SAME TIME?
#seriously
?
smartasswaitress
@smartasswaitres
almost 10 years ago
there are nights everything flows as smooth as chocolate syrup. then there's nights like tonight.
#sigh
.
smartasswaitress
@smartasswaitres
almost 10 years ago
of all the people in the world who are so horrible they'll burn in hell (hitler, amin, hussein) i firmly believe our head cook is going down
smartasswaitress
@smartasswaitres
almost 10 years ago
of course I'm fluent in sarcasm. I'm a waitress.
smartasswaitress
@smartasswaitres
almost 10 years ago
sometimes i wish we could give customers tips based on THEIR performance.
smartasswaitress
@smartasswaitres
almost 10 years ago
To the gentleman who handed me his grandchild and said you watch him while we eat.
#ainthappening
#workinggirl
smartasswaitress
@smartasswaitres
almost 10 years ago
i love when a customer sees the "please wait to be seated" sign and breezes by. I wait til they sit and then say oh no! that one's reserved!
smartasswaitress
@smartasswaitres
almost 10 years ago
well no, it's not ok that you bring in a chocolate cake for grandma's birthday. Oh, you're willing to give me a piece? Let's party.
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