Smartyboots (zombie)

I'm never here anymore, but you can find me on mastodon @[email protected] and on insta @pesterbat

[Smartyboots (zombie) @smartyboots]

I sure do love octopuses.

[Read Jackson Rising @JPHilllllll]

God damn. I would never want to be in the wrong side of The Onion

[regular steve albini @electricalWSOP]

If you're confused or offended by ACAB, while it's true good people might want to be cops, they must choose between being good and being cops, so there are no good cops.

[Thing Bad @Merman_Melville]

1870:
Man: My wife, whom had 4 babies and 0 orgasms this year, and is not allowed to vote, cries a lot
Doctor: Obviously she is insane.

[Smartyboots (zombie) @smartyboots]

Good priorities

[Max Lockie @staphwriter]

Just heard someone turn down after-work plans because they have an avocado at home that’s about to go bad

[Max Lockie @staphwriter]

Just heard someone turn down after-work plans because they have an avocado at home that’s about to go bad

[u m a m i @u_m_a_m_i]

Sony owns a patent that would force viewers to exclaim the brand name during commercials to end them.

[gaz @gazpachomachine]

cheerleaders should start doing sad/interpretive dance when their team is losing

[Little Thunder リトルサンダー @littlethunderr]

😼It’s called the PRIMORDIAL POUCH
aka Cat Belly Flap / 戰鬥肚

[Justin Alexander @hexcrawl]

So I asked ChatGPT to rephrase the magic missile spell as a sonnet.

[Evie Nagy @EvieN]

Reeling at this absolute monster person who purchased books to *stage their home* and then tried to return them to an independent bookseller. Layers and layers of jerk.

[limp brittzkit @Brittymigs]

No piece of comedy is as funny as your friend accidentally saying a word a little bit wrong

[DivestSPD @DivestSPD]

Turns out a cop *can* get fired for DV, but only if they assault another cop in front of two other cops.

[Molly Struve 🦄 @molly_struve]

When you forget about the whole backwards compatibility thing

[daweiner @daweiner]

Can't believe I've never seen this commercial of Mr. T threatening racist landlords

[matt bernstein @mattxiv]

do these people think that you wake up on the morning of your 18th birthday with a letter under your door informing you that you’re lgbt