Brittany Smoot

I make you look pretty.

[Brittany Smoot @smooter27]

@BuseytheDog I know you did. You're not that sneaky.

[Brittany Smoot @smooter27]

"Just go drink your coffee and cook something for your ugly kids" #work

[Brittany Smoot @smooter27]

@AndyAmillio : *In the Bane voice* What a stupid, stupid twat...

[Texts From Last Night @TFLN]

(970): i take joy in having bigger boobs than others

[Brittany Smoot @smooter27]

"What was in the mayonnaise?"
"Herpes..."
#ReasonsIDontEatMayo

[Brittany Smoot @smooter27]

@__JoshClark forget ur appt, sir?

[Brittany Smoot @smooter27]

"Yeah? Well, I don't feel bad for you and your fat feet either!" Lol @samschatzman

[Brittany Smoot @smooter27]

So glad this election stuff is over for a while... #nomorecampaignads #yesivoted #nowleavemealone

[Brittany Smoot @smooter27]

A client told me today he managed to work a Holocaust analogy into his job interview... Lol #AnneFrankly #I'dHireHim

[Brittany Smoot @smooter27]

This is going to be the longest day ever...

[Brittany Smoot @smooter27]

"At least she's pretty enough to be that dumb..." #unlikethelastone

[Brittany Smoot @smooter27]

"It's so bright it makes my balls hurt" #workconversations

[Brittany Smoot @smooter27]

Done dealing with people for the weekend. Just ready to go to bed till tomorrow. After some pizza, that is...

[Brittany Smoot @smooter27]

I miss the good old days... When wrestlers had dry hair #whyisyourhairsowet

[Brittany Smoot @smooter27]

I just like to fling scissors at people that don't say that lol

[Brittany Smoot @smooter27]

"Geez, Bre/Brittany... Get your big ass out of the way" -#saidnooneever #atleastnotseriously

[Brittany Smoot @smooter27]

@whoishack I will lol

[Brittany Smoot @smooter27]

Sam: I got pulled over.... By a cop!
Me: Well, who else would be pulling you over??

[Brittany Smoot @smooter27]

Some days, I just wanna burn it all to the ground and disappear...

[Brittany Smoot @smooter27]

There's a woman walking around that keeps saying/yelling (to no one in particular) "I'm smoking! Sorry! Sorry, I'm a smoker. I smoke! #lbyc