stabby joe

oh hello there

[stabby joe @so_hilllarious]

'I live my life a quarter pounder at a time'- The Fat and the Furious

[stabby joe @so_hilllarious]

@MaxVelocityWX power flash during Brownsburg, IN tornado earlier this evening. Seen from Speedway.

[stabby joe @so_hilllarious]

im marrying a man who just said “rome is in italy?” sos

[stabby joe @so_hilllarious]

i turn 30 this month and that just doesn’t seem possible. at what age do i start feeling like an actual adult and not a child pretending to be an adult?

[stabby joe @so_hilllarious]

The @thesummeritp music choices 👌🏼💯

[stabby joe @so_hilllarious]

sup twitter is this place still fun? cause lemme tell ya instagram sucks these days

[stabby joe @so_hilllarious]

Mike Curtis

[Jim Irsay @JimIrsay]

Monday morning trivia for $1,500, plus $1,500 to the animal shelter of your choice: Which Hall of Fame linebacker did the Colts acquire in a trade in 1978? 3pm EDT deadline, one winner (hat pick), and you must retweet the answer.

[Dave Portnoy @stoolpresidente]

Ok fine. We’ll throw a party then. See you guys soon. @machinegunkelly @diplo

(Yes I’m serious)

#Indy500

[stabby joe @so_hilllarious]

oy just realized i haven’t eaten all day

[stabby joe @so_hilllarious]

HOW did i ever go to meetings i wasn’t really an integral part of and not pluck my eyebrows the whole time? zoom meetings ftw

[stabby joe @so_hilllarious]

attn fellow vodka lovers: tito’s, water, fruit punch mio. you’re welcome.

[stabby joe @so_hilllarious]

at what age do you learn to wash dishes and not also manage to bathe yourself and your kitchen in the process?

[stabby joe @so_hilllarious]

stimmy go in bank account, mortgage come out 🙃

[stabby joe @so_hilllarious]

⁦@jillllleslie⁩ look at this throwback

[stabby joe @so_hilllarious]

what year is it in China because someone just asked me to fax them a copy of this document?

[stabby joe @so_hilllarious]

@jenneee it’s so rude. Out of pure spite I’ve stayed on my phone since it started. Not even interested lol

[stabby joe @so_hilllarious]

irrationally angry that kyle chose bird box of all fuckin movies to start at 10:30 pm

[stabby joe @so_hilllarious]

@molltiply Oh great I’m already angry that im even watching it 😅 this thing is two hours long, it’s cute he thinks I’ll make it through

[stabby joe @so_hilllarious]

@molltiply OMG hahahahahaha never forget

[stabby joe @so_hilllarious]

things i never thought I’d say at 28:
“why do i keep losing teddy grahams in my hair?”

[stabby joe @so_hilllarious]

this whole pandemic has really just sucked balls but today im working in my undies and a tshirt and it seems to make me forget about the terrible past 12 months for a second lol