Nick Sollitt

I Always Wanna Die (Sometimes)

[Nick Sollitt @sollster]

Wondering if I’ve ever been in as much trouble as Kate is now 🤔

[Nick Sollitt @sollster]

@skytv please can you advise what the correct answer is for the below? My answer was incorrect. This was my 4th go at these “tests” - this was actually the easiest one to read… I fail enough at life without this constant kick in the balls when I want to check my emails.

[Nick Sollitt @sollster]

@UberFacts My life.

[Nick Sollitt @sollster]

@UberFacts 💯

[Nick Sollitt @sollster]

Dirty little Trumptons!

[Nick Sollitt @sollster]

Cold as fuck..

[UberFacts @UberFacts]

Female fish will fake orgasms to trick males into thinking they've successfully mated.

Then the females will swim off to find a better partner.

[Nick Sollitt @sollster]

UberFacts and science do not lie.

[UberFacts @UberFacts]

The protein in sperm can help reduce wrinkles and tighten your skin when left to dry.

[Nick Sollitt @sollster]

🙋🏻‍♂️

[UberFacts @UberFacts]

Masturbation can help relieve depression and anxiety.

[Nick Sollitt @sollster]

Does every night feel like a friday/Saturday night now?? #asking4aFriend

[Nick Sollitt @sollster]

@SimmoniteDivSt Hi, I’m looking for 1kg of minced pork shoulder - don’t suppose you have a Christmas miracle up your sleeve? 🎅🏻

[Nick Sollitt @sollster]

#ManagementWanker

[UberFacts @UberFacts]

People who masturbate regularly are more likely to be managers at work, according to a 2019 survey.

[Nick Sollitt @sollster]

I excel at public transport. 🚂 👋🏼

[Nick Sollitt @sollster]

🤔🤯

[UberFacts @UberFacts]

The 'stitch' that runs along the bottom of a man's scrotum is the 'scar' of what would have been a vagina.

That's where the labia fused together when male hormones kicked in during embryonic development.

[Nick Sollitt @sollster]

Wished I’d spent more on mine 🤦🏻‍♂️...

[UberFacts @UberFacts]

The more expensive a couple's wedding is, the more likely they are to get divorced.

[Nick Sollitt @sollster]

I knew it! Poontang Pumpers!!

[UberFacts @UberFacts]

Women's farts typically smell worse than men's due to higher levels of hydrogen sulfide.

[Nick Sollitt @sollster]

@UberFacts 🙋🏻‍♂️

[Nick Sollitt @sollster]

Re-affirms my “music over TV” mindset! ✅

[Nick Sollitt @sollster]

Dear 2019, I known you’re not here quite yet - but can you not suck balls like 2018 did?

[Nick Sollitt @sollster]

Such a waste..

[Nick Sollitt @sollster]

🤔 ➖ 🤥