jonathot

booty is forever

[jonathot @soltysj]

that kid doing the chief keef rant but it’s me talking about how nobody understands jazz

[jonathot @soltysj]

my new “at least it’s not a pitbull” philosophy on dogs has allowed those annoying little dogs a LOT of unearned leeway

[jonathot @soltysj]

@davidu saying something is “irrationally emotional” is just exposing you have zero emotional intelligence lmao otherwise you’d know exactly why things are emotional because you’d ask some questions and figure it out like a grown adult with social skills. CEOs are brain damaged fr

[jonathot @soltysj]

we have moved past the gay son vs thot daughter dialectic, it’s now podcaster son vs influencer daughter

[jonathot @soltysj]

@trevswaglilman4 ay brother checking in, how’s this coming along?

[jonathot @soltysj]

*hastily image searching “muslim goku” to slam dunk in an online argument*

[jonathot @soltysj]

in my defense for having shown up to the speed dating event on methamphetamines, you have to understand it’s right there in the name. i thought that was part of it. i’m truly sorry

[slick @dlicj]

baseball catcher, after batter hits a pitch: hey man he was throwing that to me haha

[Goth Ms. Frizzle @spookperson]

[first day in prison]

me: maybe it won't be so bad

*I get to my bloc and my cell mate is a mitochondria*

[jonathot @soltysj]

more like the washed masses am i right

[jonathot @soltysj]

the real evidence of american decline is that the last innovation in the firework space, the smiley face firework, still turns out to be upside down more often than not

[jonathot @soltysj]

@ahardcoreangel queen shit, good for you. too much stigma around BPD when it’s a very treatable “condition”. love seeing my clients overcome it. proud of you

[jonathot @soltysj]

fyi if you want to practice medicine in america it’s much easier and cheaper to get a job in the claims department of health insurance rather than go through the trouble of getting a medical degree.

[jonathot @soltysj]

wouldn’t going to another man for advice on how to be an “alpha” effectively guarantee that you’re a beta? sorry i don’t know how all of this works i’m not on anabolics

[jonathot @soltysj]

kerisa got me some fenty underwear…. didn’t even know rihanna liked fentanyl like that

[jonathot @soltysj]

do british popup porn ads say “there are randy middle-aged birds in your area”

[jonathot @soltysj]

if i can oversimplify things to make a point:

mental health has less to do with serotonin and dopamine and much more to do with endorphins and oxytocin.

[jonathot @soltysj]

some great works aren’t recognized until after the author’s death. i’ll assume that’s what’s going on here

[jonathot @soltysj]

i’m just saying that if i had written it, he’d have gotten head in the book and i would’ve named him dome quixote

[jonathot @soltysj]

not only is the “nothin in the rules says a dog can’t play basketball” scene from airbud an iconic moment in movie history, it also points to a possible justification for doing something i’ve always wanted: allowing a gorilla into the UFC

[jonathot @soltysj]

@ndelraso13 too wet by 30 years, think bigger picture. we go to the chilean andes

[jonathot @soltysj]

@lyons_24 true art is timeless