Ha

Today I saw…

[boto @TsarinaBomba]

I’ve boarded flights on percents you wouldn’t go to the bathroom with

[Kunle @skinnyniggr]

FOBI (fear of being included)

[🔺Escobar🔻 @_Mr_Richard]

I remember when i cheated in junior school- everyone else failed the subject except me. I scored 24/30.

I got so scared that i eventually had to study in case they bring me in for questioning 😭

[aIenka @ankyhaidy]

fuuck i unleashed close personal friend behaviour on a regular friend again

[femiiiiii. @femiiiszn]

forever in a rush to get home and do nothing but lie down.

[Ha @Some____Guy]

Not going to lie, pretty tough one being called a ‘dick’ after being assaulted… then arrested by an officer that also assaulted you 😭

I’d probably be baffled into docility.

[TheRealHM @LifeWithSymonee]

So none of the kids went home and told their parents Miss Trunchbull was whooping they ass

[cinna ⊹ ࣪ ˖ ໒꒱ @linguistlez]

my sister is the epitome of young ho… this girl is making mac and cheese and she’s going back to her room to lay down between every step instead of just staying in the kitchen

[Rata 🌇 @RANK10YGO]

if a website asks me for a verification code and i check my email and it's not in there within 0.1 picosecond of the request i roar and swing my arms madly and start hurting those close to me

[kelbin @pissboymcgee]

I could see myself peacefully exchanging my kids on the weekend with this woman

[breadloaf 🛤️ @taxspendlib]

people love saying "history will not judge us kindly" as if history books aren't just like "Genghis Khan epicly killed 40 million people. what an absolute legend"

[Miss Ally @MissAlly_01]

It’s ironic that the days of the week are named after gods, because at the moment I’ve no idea what deities.

[LS 🍊 @leahsmithh7]

The woman in front of me on the plane has just started a movie 11 mins before landing

[computer @computer1010101]

Is it too late to become a child prodigy? I'm 38

[𐌁𐌉Ᏽ 𐌕𐌉𐌌𐌉 @OrevaZSN]

Why don’t we pronounce the “meow” in homeowner?

[¿ @umlarp]

june’s over? julying

[. @playboicurrryy]

high difficulty level escape room concept: u are laying in bed and u have one hour to get out of bed

[َ @gffyoq]

people should look up at the moon more often.

[deanna the calorie slayer .ᐟ @bnnuyplld]

u get wired headphones and suddenly every door handle is erect and present