really recontextualizes a lot of his career decisions. you can’t live for others when you’ve experienced first hand how limited your time on earth is. even when those others are fans or group mates who believe he owes them loyalty. while other idols might stay around in a group while unhappy for years, he had to go his own way. kpop is often a two way parasocial street and i’m glad he hasn’t fallen victim to it.
it makes sense why heeseung’s personality is the way he is.
on top of that, how he just finds happiness in stuff like toy story, hello kitty, playing basketball, cute trinkets and so forth as an adult.
some may find it childish, but really he’s just healing his inner child 🥲
this little boy was only in fourth grade when he was diagnosed with cancer… he was going through treatment while watching the friends he met in the hospital pass away, and all he could think about was, “I want to live so badly. I want to go home.”
He was just a child, yet he already knew what it felt like to be afraid that he might not get to grow up. and somehow, through all of that, he still tried to smile, put on a brave face for his mom, play guitar at hospital events, and hold onto the hope that he would make it home :(
oh God HEESEUNG truly deserves all the love, peace, and gentleness in this world 😭🫳🏻
heeseung’s recovery from cancer.. he opened up so much here. i am so broken reading this…
💬 I can’t even imagine how difficult that must’ve been to go through at such a young age.
🦌: The treatment process wasn’t easy, but when I saw how my mom took care of me nonstop, I wanted to put on a brave face for her. When the hospital held events like talent shows for the patients, I’d play guitar and even host them. I dreamed of being a singer ever since I was six, but to be honest, back then I didn’t really have the mental bandwidth to even think about that. I’d watch my friends pass away and kept thinking, “I want to live so badly, I want to go home.” Thankfully I made it through treatment and got to go on with my life, but fitting back in with my friends wasn’t easy. I had a lot less energy, and since my hair was still growing back from chemo, I got teased a lot for it. My friends would be like, “What is that, grass? You’re like a monk.” But I just took it because I wanted to fit in. Once I got to middle school, I had some good friends, but I wasn’t as outgoing as before. I became more of an introvert. I haven’t thought about that in a long time. It hurts to bring it back up. (laughs)
Evan talks about being diagnosed with cancer when he was younger:
"The treatment process wasn’t easy, but when I saw how my mom took care of me nonstop, I wanted to put on a brave face for her. When the hospital held events like talent shows for the patients, I’d play guitar and even host them.
I dreamed of being a singer ever since I was six, but to be honest, back then I didn’t really have the mental bandwidth to even think about that. I’d watch my friends pass away and kept thinking, “I want to live so badly, I want to go home.”
Thankfully I made it through treatment and got to go on with my life, but fitting back in with my friends wasn’t easy.
I had a lot less energy, and since my hair was still growing back from chemo, I got teased a lot for it. My friends would be like, “What is that, grass? You’re like a monk.” But I just took it because I wanted to fit in. Once I got to middle school, I had some good friends, but I wasn’t as outgoing as before.
I became more of an introvert. I haven’t thought about that in a long time. It hurts to bring it back up."