zari

i just sneezed

[zari @sorryimazari]

If you were to meet @theestallion would you call her “Megan” or “Ms. Thee-Stallion”?

[parker @momappreciator]

hey TSA how you gonna take my toothpaste cause it’s “too big” but let me board with all this ass?

[zari @sorryimazari]

I just spent an hour at @Apple switching out a broken charger. Takes you guys 10 minutes to sell me a new phone but AN HOUR TO SWITCH OUT YOUR BUSTED ASS PHONE CHARGERS????

[JordannAveryCharityAlenaRivers 🇯🇲 🌻🦄 @MsJordannS]

#LiesOnMyResume I am ready, willing and able to work.

[jonny sun @jonnysun]

me during a depressive episode trying to convince the moon to fall on me

[The LaLa Milan✨ @LaLaMilan]

RESPECT MY HUSTLE! #LaLaDMXChallenge #dmxchallenge

[issa @twaimz]

my dad just sent this to me and i...have no words

[aunt endora @auntendora]

#FavoriteAfterSexActivities Going home to my husband

[zari @sorryimazari]

If me making a very true statement makes me a “bitch”, then I’ll be THAT BITCH 😊

[zari @sorryimazari]

You’re*

[zari @sorryimazari]

@YoungRetroLIVE Dude literally stop being passive aggressive over twitter and say it to my face.

[zari @sorryimazari]

Buying a Jeep is all fun and games until it takes $50 to fill your tank.

[zari @sorryimazari]

Me to my pharmacist: “Every time I come to pick up my medication, you are just so nice and sweet”

My pharmacist: “Listen..I’ve got a lot of access to pills in this line of work”

[bubblegum tits @daniellatrash]

when someone yells “chug that shit, pussy” and you’re already on the verge of blacking out

[Queen Quen @quenblackwell]

“I am too full of life to be half loved.”

[Charles Cornell @_charlescornell]

and i oop-

#andioop