nana

ed twt. online diary. ednos. on and off w ED brain

[nana @soullbss]

been weighing in at 138/139 recently and I was 132/133 last month lmao I can’t tell if it’s mostly water weight or if I genuinely gained but either way I wanna KMS

[nana @soullbss]

lowkey spiraling think biggest factor is bc I feel so fucking huge like haven’t had a day where my stomachs not bloated it’s making me feel insane

[nana @soullbss]

also hooked up w guy in his car and it was so unsatisfying like maybe im just thinking too deep into it but it makes me feel used like ik i was a willing participant obviously but it just makes me hate myself even more

[nana @soullbss]

bruh lowkey going out just made me feel worse went out thursday and friday and it was so draining lowkey I think Friday was better than thursday but I just feel even more disconnected from myself

[nana @soullbss]

took another pregnancy test and it was negative but so confused why I haven’t gotten period

[titi @tinsiekins]

how it feels when you have a friend and you make plans with your friend and then you hang out with your friend

[ً @viveespo]

this has and always will haunt me

[nana @soullbss]

idk I’ll just go and get drunk and dance maybe bring out will help me destress and I’ll snap out of this cycle

[nana @soullbss]

like genuinely been overeating almost everyday and spending sm $ on food it’s gen embarrassing 🙂 my coworkers wanna go out today too and part of me wants to stay home and just rot bc I feel so fat but ik if I do it’ll make me feel worse

[nana @soullbss]

my friends keep saying it’s maybe stress making my period late so idk bc I don’t feel any other symptoms but I just need to make sure

[nana @soullbss]

bruh been binging almost everyday the past week since I came back idk what wrong w my body im lowkey scared im pregnant bc my periods almost 3 weeks late but I took 2 tests and they both said negative… gonna take one when I wake up after my shift today but im just so worried

[nana @soullbss]

so tempted to call out of shift tonight I just feel so damn burned out and depressed I don’t think I’ve had the chance to mentally or physically recover from my trip and readjusting to nights has been so hard🥲

[nana @soullbss]

also did not make banana bread😔 but kinda cleaned room so 👍🏼

[nana @soullbss]

had like 2 bowls of this then a yogurt bowl goodnight

[nas @ponderosia]

accepting the highs and lows because nothing lasts forever anyway

[sylph 💍 @sylphidian]

hey it was nice to meet you but i don't want a second date. you didn't bring out the glowing ball of golden light in my chest like i'd hoped. wish you the best though

[nana @soullbss]

okay getting matcha (again) then making banana bread then deep cleaning room💆🏻‍♀️

[۟ @o_____o]

best friend and i are doing a no sugar challenge and use an app for accountability and she just logged this as a snack

[nana @soullbss]

not to say I ain’t gonna try to high res I still want my body and face to look snatched but realizing giving cals and food sm more importance whether the # is low or high is just 🧘🏻‍♀️

[nana @soullbss]

yeah maybe this is me saying I’ve recovered from BED most def have EDNOS but I think I am starting to view food in a more normal person way I think and the less importance I give food the less I eat I think