B$

CEO of my household 🧑‍🧑‍🧒

[B$ @souprespecter]

Sorry to everyone for the times I was cringe…and for the times I will probably be cringe in the future.

[B$ @souprespecter]

I really hope and pray Jimothy is not AI.

[S★ @xxyllinn]

I don’t want to "download the app" to pay for parking. I don’t want to "create an account" to see a menu. I don’t want to "provide feedback" on a 30-second interaction. I just want to exist in the physical world without a digital leash.

[B$ @souprespecter]

@littleapostate It’s so worth sticking it out and it makes me so sad that women give up so easily

[Wholesome Side of 𝕏 @itsme_urstruly]

may you always be the type of person who points out cows in a field, watches bees on flowers and gets excited when the moon looks extra big.

[𐌁𐌉Ᏽ 𐌕𐌉𐌌𐌉 @OrevaZSN]

Mythical creatures make a lot more sense when you realise humanity spent hundreds of thousands of years without glasses or any form of eyesight aid.

[B$ @souprespecter]

@realstewpeters @MurraySuggests Now do Lee Harvey Oswald

[𐌁𐌉Ᏽ 𐌕𐌉𐌌𐌉 @OrevaZSN]

Why don’t we pronounce the “meow” in homeowner?

[B$ @souprespecter]

@tigerlilysghost The ceiling! 🤩

[Ms. Amish @camillepawglia]

Summer affirmations: linen is meant to be wrinkled and martinis are meant to be spilled

[🎩Laird of the Manor🎩 @LairdOfThManor]

A small public service announcement from the Department of Things That You Should Know…

It has not “peeked” your interest.
Nor has it “peaked” your interest.

…It has piqued your interest.

You are not “phased” by something.
You are fazed by it.

If you’ve had a long day, you are weary.
If you suspect someone is an idiot, you are wary.

It is “due course”, not “do course”.
“Per se”, not “per say”.

And while we’re here, it’s “could have”, not “could of”, but that particular battle may already be lost.

Thank you for your attention during this brief outbreak of grammatical housekeeping.

This has been a @LairdofthManor announcement.🎩💙

[B$ @souprespecter]

@hollowearthterf “No reason”?? Are you dense? You know it’s straight up fentanyl in that epidural bag right?

[Cooper Lawrence @CooperLawrence]

“Runaway brides” should be called “near Mrs.”

Thank you, this is why I have a PhD

[B$ @souprespecter]

@JACKCARTER009 This is some terrible acting

[B$ @souprespecter]

@_wej01 What a dream!

[B$ @souprespecter]

@ProxCentauriB @JadeK526 Measuring 48 weeks is not the same as actually being 48 weeks. Of course she’s measuring that. There are two in there.

[Robert Bortins @TheRobertBshow]

The dual-income household didn't liberate women.
It inflated housing prices, created the childcare industrial complex, and turned every family into a tax bracket.
Two incomes later, you're still broke — just busier.

[B$ @souprespecter]

@NoFilterSkin Wait this isn’t ADHD??

[𝒢𝒾𝓁𝒷ℯ𝓇𝓉 @AbakpaJob]

The most important thing I've learned in life, and I can't stress this enough: you gotta make a salad in a bigger bowl than you think

[B$ @souprespecter]

@SweetTexanRose This looks like AI