Alan Bates

Irritant. MCFC, ukulele, bicycle. I will go to my deathbed never having voted Tory.

[Alan Bates @sp3ccylad]

How’s Brexit going today, then?

[Alan Bates @sp3ccylad]

I got a 9-streak on Which dropped first? Can you beat it? https://t.co/NfXlaKCEqK

[Alan Bates @sp3ccylad]

@seatsixtyone YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY

[Alan Bates @sp3ccylad]

@TheAthleticFC Possibly.

[Alan Bates @sp3ccylad]

It seems replies to DMs take a while too.

[Halfords @Halfords_uk]

Hi Alan,

Thanks for getting in touch.

We're sorry to hear that your order has not been delivered the next day.

So we can look into this for you, could you please DM us with your order number, full name and contact details, and we will raise this for you.

We look forward to hearing from you soon.

Best wishes.

[Alan Bates @sp3ccylad]

@Halfords_uk Hi, I ordered an item from you with next day delivery, which you haven’t been able to fulfil in time (ordered Friday, still not with me.

May I have my delivery fee refunded? I’d have used the “contact us” page but it throws a 403 error.

[Alan Bates @sp3ccylad]

@seatsixtyone Lochailort Hauptbahnhof. Look out Milano Centrale, you have a rival.

[Alan Bates @sp3ccylad]

@seatsixtyone Knowing the platform in advance will be crucial for Lochailort tomorrow morning.

Seriously, though. RTT has saved my bacon numerous times. About time it appified. Is that a word? Don’t care.

[Alan Bates @sp3ccylad]

@TheAthleticFC Me

[Alan Bates @sp3ccylad]

@_abochie I don’t think I’ve ever answered a question so quickly. It’s the enigma, the eternal puzzle that is Nicolas Anelka.

[Alan Bates @sp3ccylad]

Money for nothing, etc. @andy_wedge

[Kieran Maguire @KieranMaguire]

An essential read for all fans of creative accounting.

[Alan Bates @sp3ccylad]

@GaryJamesWriter Remember the first one very well. Was staying with gf’s parents and watched it on the telly. It was a nasty, unpleasant experience as her mum went full-on needlessly Bootle in spite of my resigned, typical City fatalism. Never forgotten.

[Alan Bates @sp3ccylad]

@FootballInT80s @thegingerwig Absolutely unbelievable win, that, especially considering our away form…

[Alan Bates @sp3ccylad]

@qikipedia Ah, the good old days.

[Alan Bates @sp3ccylad]

@SamLee No, it’s definitely a roof.

[Alan Bates @sp3ccylad]

@SamLee As the prophecy foretold

[Alan Bates @sp3ccylad]

@SamLee We’ve got the second-half slump to contend with yet.

[Alan Bates @sp3ccylad]

@EricaCochrane @archer_rs To be fair, she caught my look, paused fo reflection and said “OH MY GOD, I’M SO BLONDE SOMETIMES…”

[Alan Bates @sp3ccylad]

@EricaCochrane @archer_rs I lived in the USA for 2 1/2 years, having moved from the UK. About three months in, I was complimented on how quickly I’d picked up English.

[Sleaford Mods @sleafordmods]

Cheers xx

[Alan Bates @sp3ccylad]

On the metric of goals that don’t count, City are getting thrashed. Other metrics where we’re not even in touch include
- yellow cards accumulated
- number of managers since 2016
- amount of red in strip