Sam P

not a horse girl

[Sam P @spamm94]

My mom keeps calling high noons “wine coolers” happy 4th !!

[Sam P @spamm94]

@claudia_8194 Passed with flying colors :/

[Sam P @spamm94]

In miami for the night!!! Living la vida loca!!!!

[Sam P @spamm94]

@claudia_8194 Brave admit

[Sam P @spamm94]

Showed my parents siblings or dating at dinner. Huge hit

[Sam P @spamm94]

@claudia_8194 I know he would just love your 🍈🍈

[Sam P @spamm94]

@claudia_8194 I’ve done this a time or two. Movies are good like this as well just a pro tip

[Sam P @spamm94]

Went to Ulta and they were out of March bday gifts and the girl goes “sorry too many of you pisces” which is honestly fucked !!

[Sam P @spamm94]

@claudia_8194 One of our best sellers

[Sam P @spamm94]

@claudia_8194 Started in the basement of Danny’s girls we now have 6 trillion in sales

[Sam P @spamm94]

Happy vday to the couples that should break up :))) <3

[Sam P @spamm94]

Can’t stop thinking about when a man buckles his seatbelt in an Uber 🤮🤢 grow up p*ssy!!

[Sam P @spamm94]

A sexy maternity shoot?? Think again freaks

[Sam P @spamm94]

My cleaning lady just told me she thinks the snow this year looks government made. I’m obsessed with her.

[Sam P @spamm94]

In all black, ready to make people uncomfortable just by being myself :))))

[Sam P @spamm94]

lunch today was just a coupla meat sticks bc I’m a growing boy

[Sam P @spamm94]

If you want to feel good about your life choices while simultaneously wanting to shimmy out of your own skin may I suggest Love is Blind season 3

[Sam P @spamm94]

@claudia_8194 I’m gonna choke you with a breadstick tn

[Sam P @spamm94]

My fav thing about my guy friends is how much they don’t want to talk to me <3 playing all hard to get so cute!!!