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for legal reasons everything I say is a joke

[char @spaprahc]

@AlyssaFeliz32 @UnitedAirlines @united

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@AlyssaFeliz32 Omg?!!! @UnitedAirlines

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Not all stories need updates

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@blisssssy HAHAH damn Joe

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@blisssssy A nightmare

[char @spaprahc]

How many enchiladas do you think I have to eat to not be depressed

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Nancy is not a good baby name but IS a good grandma name

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@JaneCastor @AlertTampa @CityofTampa What’s being done to help the homeless population?

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What do you think cloud 10 is like

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My brain on drugs is a lot better than my brain on nothing and that’s all I have to say about that

[char @spaprahc]

My algorithm thinks very highly of me for some reason. Louibutans? I don’t even know how to spell the fucking name do you really think I can afford them?

[char @spaprahc]

Contrary to popular belief, what happened in the past is not "in the past" if it is continuing to affect the present. In this essay I will--

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@ranchblessingz He has a very sophisticated palate!!

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@CharlsAmaro One year cooler!! Thank you Carlos ❤️

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@CharlsAmaro My pain is your entertainment huh

[char @spaprahc]

The first time I had a near death experience I was at a dinner party & in the buffet line (obvi) when this girl was on the opposite side of the buffet table waiting for me to finish putting a sausage on my plate & we made eye contact and I—I put the SAUSAGE ON HER PLATE FOR HER.

[char @spaprahc]

@blisssssy Why me

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@beefjambers She just held eye contact and smiled... I will never forget her

[char @spaprahc]

@Rawrhal I’ve always thought you looked more like a Bill

[char @spaprahc]

When I feel bad generally I do something specifically that’s fun