Ladysparklytoaster

Im Sparkly like my toaster - that is all - actually my toaster needs a wipe over, so it’s quite dull at present

[VeryBritishProblems @SoVeryBritish]

Someone just asked me if I was “ready for Christmas.”

It is the 24th of November. I'm not even ready for this afternoon.

[Scandal @ScandalABC]

"can we go..," "yes, dear"
"can we buy..."
"can we visit..."
"can we eat..."

[Ladysparklytoaster @sparklytoaster]

@charliesheen great show on @netflix 😍

[VeryBritishProblems @SoVeryBritish]

The most passive-aggressive phrases ever:

1 Polite notice
2 Gentle/friendly reminder
3 As per my last email / as previously discussed
4 Thanks in advance
5 For the avoidance of doubt
6 With all due respect
7 I may have missed it, but…
8 Maybe I didn’t explain it clearly enough
9 Not sure if you read my email
10 Hope this helps! / happy to help!

[VeryBritishProblems @SoVeryBritish]

“For Pete’s sake!”

My question is, who’s Pete when he’s at home? And why do we add “when he’s at home” when asking a question about a mystery character? And while we’re at it, does Pete know Bob, the one who’s everyone’s uncle? And does Uncle Bob have any relation to Bloody Nora? Is Bloody Nora someone’s giddy aunt? Is she the perhaps the giddy aunt of Gordon Bennett? Does Gordon have any connection with Tom, Dick, and Harry? Does Harry know Larry and why he’s always happy? And who the **** is Alice?

For the love of Mike (who’s Mike?!), so many questions!

[VeryBritishProblems @SoVeryBritish]

Someone just cancelled plans on me for this evening. I’m wondering if I should send them a thank you card.

[HMS Lancaster @HMSLANCASTER]

Continuing the great partnership between two great allies 🇴🇲🇬🇧

We welcomed the Royal Navy of Oman Operational Sea Training team to HMS Lancaster, providing an insight into RN operations and operating methods in the Gulf Region.

@RoyalNavy @UKinOman #ForwardDeployedT23

[HMS Lancaster @HMSLANCASTER]

It’s not often we get the opportunity to host our affiliates on the ship whilst deployed

It was an absolute pleasure to host Sir Vivian Ramsey of the Worshipful Company of Constructors during our recent port visit in Muscat, Oman 🇴🇲

@ConstructorsW #ForwardDeployedT23

[Ladysparklytoaster @sparklytoaster]

@k3rryr83 I do this

[VeryBritishProblems @SoVeryBritish]

How to pack underwear for a three-day trip:

-Pack three pairs.
-Add another pair for luck.
-Remember you’ll probably shower before going for an evening meal, or after taking a swim, and will want to change into fresh pants afterwards. Add another three pairs.
-Now add another two for extra luck.
-For no reason at all, double the total amount.
-Add another pair to your hand luggage, just in case.
-Now do the same for your socks.

[Ladysparklytoaster @sparklytoaster]

American Airlines jet crashes in Washington DC after midair collision
@k3rryr83 https://t.co/MA4aA3GVAn

[Ladysparklytoaster @sparklytoaster]

Pauline Quirke, 65, reveals she's been diagnosed with dementia
@k3rryr83 https://t.co/LGIy8KigC5

[Ladysparklytoaster @sparklytoaster]

LA's iconic Hollywood Boulevard is evacuated as new fire erupts
@k3rryr83 https://t.co/Z8605nV9OW

[Ladysparklytoaster @sparklytoaster]

Pacific Palisades fires cause hotels to overflow with millionaires
@k3rryr83 https://t.co/D8rDSY23r4

[Ladysparklytoaster @sparklytoaster]

Love Island: All Stars line-up REVEALED
@k3rryr83 https://t.co/zxpcWjXowh

[Ladysparklytoaster @sparklytoaster]

'Catwoman' Jocelyn Wildenstein dead at 84
@k3rryr83 https://t.co/5yyQJY5pcH

[Ladysparklytoaster @sparklytoaster]

Radio 2 DJ Johnnie Walker dead aged 79
@peteaston1 https://t.co/Mye0kb3YlY

[Ladysparklytoaster @sparklytoaster]

Wallace And Gromit fans slam BBC for 'embarrassing' changes to show
@peteaston1 https://t.co/yoMZTPaWQI

[Ladysparklytoaster @sparklytoaster]

Tsunami warning issued after 7.0-magnitude tremor hits California
@k3rryr83 https://t.co/yW0mIWUAeP

[Ladysparklytoaster @sparklytoaster]

JonBenét Ramsey cop makes bombshell admission in beauty queen's murder
https://t.co/QGKhJEWpI0

[Ladysparklytoaster @sparklytoaster]

How East 17 star went from topping the charts to homeless
@peteaston1 https://t.co/Ag3snX3Q1V