Corned Beef Hashtag

Love food, hate pants

[ⱤɆ₳Ⱡ ฿Ɇ₦ @AtRealBen]

😭😭😭

[Corned Beef Hashtag @Spectre41]

@DitzWitDTits George T Stagg bourbon is my holy grail.

[Corned Beef Hashtag @Spectre41]

@777Adrianne Awesome! I love Telecasters!

[Corned Beef Hashtag @Spectre41]

@SweetLilSassyMe You got that right!

[Corned Beef Hashtag @Spectre41]

@AlwayzInTrouble Thank you. Made my evening brighter.

[Corned Beef Hashtag @Spectre41]

@johncatoir Pretty sure you're a closet racist. Fuck you.

[Corned Beef Hashtag @Spectre41]

Starting a Running of the Bulls in Pamplona fantasy league. Who's in?

[Antonella212 (Instagram) @NYorNothing]

I’m pregnant, I got a promotion, I’m moving to Alaska, I’m engaged, they’re remaking Three’s Company, my car got towed, I banged an NHL player, I saw a UFO, I hit the lotto, I’ll send a nude to anyone that retweets this

Happy April Fools
P.S. one of these is true

[God @TheTweetOfGod]

"You can succeed if you work hard," say people who succeeded by cheating and getting lucky.

[God @TheTweetOfGod]

I'm leaving. Messi, take over.

[Trash Talk NFL @TrashTalkNFL]

A picture of Robert Kraft’s prostitute has just been released.

[God @TheTweetOfGod]

I genuinely don't remember making you all this stupid.

[Saucy Kensington @Book_Krazy]

Me: I want to be able to think like a man.

Genie: Granted.

[5 min later]

Genie: So what do you think so far?

Me: About what?

[Jude D @heyitsJudeD]

Want to really freak your man out?

Say 'do you like my new haircut?' when you haven't had one.....

[Corned Beef Hashtag @Spectre41]

@mamapojo I'd cum so hard!

[Boyd's Backyard™ @TheBoydP]

Hear me out, a help desk for old married men...

[Cats Against Humanity™ @CatsVsHumanity]

Words you should use more of in 2019:

• cattywampus
• humdinger
• bunghole
• ruckus
• cockamamie
• grody
• malarkey
• doozy
• asshat
• jeepers
• buttever
• smidge
• nincompoop
• numbnuts
• skedaddle
• shwing
• dagnabbit
• snackages
• willy nilly
• fuckface

[Nice Warm Dump @KoolQueef]

Get some ice in your whisky so everyone knows you're drinking the the bottom shelf, peasantry whisky that couldn't possibly be enjoyed neat.

[God @almightygod]

This image upsets Donald Trump, so I'm sure you'll refrain from sharing it in order to protect his feelings: