steph

birbs

[steph @spikysteph]

Fuck house sparrows

[steph @spikysteph]

I saw both a male and female cardinal on my bird feeder this morning and no one in my house cares #birding

[steph @spikysteph]

Jill thought she was fat in Home Improvement—girl lemme show you

[steph @spikysteph]

I eyeballed my husband carrying an empty pickle jar to see if he’d recycle it, he mean mugged me back and then I spelled FU with mayo on my burger while he watched. 12 yrs married = hot

[steph @spikysteph]

@UnspeakableGame my son was so excited to get your headphones and the microphone does not with with his Nintendo Switch. No help from email with customer service. What can you do to help out my homie who is a huge fan? We are disappointed my dude.

[steph @spikysteph]

If the Mrs doubtfire kids had known their future stepdad was James Bond I think the movie would have turned out differently

[steph @spikysteph]

@deb_sol you are a magical 🦄! Can’t wait to use my learnings from your #mdmc19 talk on our clients. The force is strong with you!

[steph @spikysteph]

@OfficialVess I am irrationally loyal to your diet tonic. I ❤️ Vess

[steph @spikysteph]

@stephnissen_ you rocked the collaboration panel at #MDMC19! Speaking my love language!

[steph @spikysteph]

“Content is a gift...don’t give random turds.” Thank you @julieewald! Loved your talk today! #MDMC19

[steph @spikysteph]

@GordonRamsay how’s this risotto?

[steph @spikysteph]

@PFDairy You all need to do better with your Patriot Pops. If I bought one on eBay I’d be leaving negative feedback with subject: “item not as seller described”. My 4yo also thinks the package is a sham.

[steph @spikysteph]

Yes, our 4 yo has the ability to build LEGO sets marked ages 5 and up. No, he does not have the attention span to build said LEGO sets which have 300 pieces. Result: me building LEGO sets. Me building LEGO sets: Nirvana.

[OfficeNinjas @OfficeNinjas]

#Feedback comes in three forms (appreciation, advice, and evaluation). Learn the difference, and make your next feedback session matter: @farnamstreet https://t.co/DVRuEdmsOT

[steph @spikysteph]

@McAlistersDeli Cerebral me: Chopped. Drunk me: Hell’s Kitchen.

[steph @spikysteph]

RIP Barbara. Anyone who champions kiddo literacy and makes it a nationwide initiative is a hero in my book.

[steph @spikysteph]

@goBRANDgo @mandymanley Thanks @mandymanley! Permission to screw up is essential to creativity and I do it liberally!!

[steph @spikysteph]

If one of your favorite things to do
Is talk smack about the buyers on House Hunters
Then marriage is for you!
-a poetry/fiction major

[steph @spikysteph]

@Snap @snapchatsupport please please bring back the filter that makes you look like an old man. My coworkers lives depend on it

[steph @spikysteph]

@mandymanley Before this comment...
Coworker 1: you know when you pick your nose and a booger comes out and you feel it coming out inside your skull? So satisfying.